


I will always hold you tight

by AmbecaWatson



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry Sex, Apocalypse Feeling, Bisexual Dean, Bottom Castiel, Canon Divergence, Canon verse, Canon-Typical Violence, Declarations Of Love, Episode: s05e17 99 Problems, Episode: s05e18 Point of No Return, Episode: s05e21 Two Minutes to Midnight, Episode: s05e22 Swan Song, Flashbacks, Implied Crowley/Bobby Singer, Implied Lucifer/Sam Winchester, M/M, Original dialogue, Profound Bond, Sexual Content, Topping from the Bottom, Virgin Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-01 16:23:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 26,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4026739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbecaWatson/pseuds/AmbecaWatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I gripped you tight and raised you from perdition," Cas had told him, but what does that mean? Is Sam right and did Cas clutch Dean tight to his chest in an intimate embrace? And is there something else that Dean doesn't remember about how he was rescued from the pit? </p><p>A story about how Dean came to realise that he loves Cas and chooses to act on it. If only he knew how to ask Cas about this and there wasn't this thing called the apocalypse looming over their heads.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this tumblr post](http://froginakettle.tumblr.com/post/119450798481/i-recently-had-a-revelation%0A)
> 
> For my DESTIEL FOREVER lovelies.

“I’m telling you ‘no’, Sam. I will not talk to Cas.”

Sam and Dean got back to their motel and continued an argument which they had been having in the car. The fight against the apocalypse was at a stalemate, they knew they couldn’t kill Lucifer and they knew that he wasn’t gonna kill them either. Not as long as they were needed as heavenly vessels, that is.

So, whenever they stopped to think about the daunting prospects of the end of the world, Sam always started to argue with Dean about another topic.

There was nothing that Dean regretted more than to get roaring drunk after Ellen and Jo had died and to confessing to Sam and Bobby that he had irrevocably fallen in love with Cas and didn‘t think the angel would ever reciprocate his feelings.

You couldn’t blame a guy for spilling their guts when drunk, Dean thought. Alcohol makes one hell of a truth serum after all. But Dean wondered time and again if he hadn’t spilled too much, because whenever Sam wasn’t hammering him about killsure ways to end the devil, he started on the ‘Dean/Cas getting together front.’

“Dean, you really should talk to him. He deserves to know that you love him because I think he’s in love with you as well.”

“He’s not.” Dean’s intestines decided that it was time to shrink to half their diameter as he said that. “I don’t think angels can even feel that way, and you remember Uriel calling us ‘mud monkeys’? Maybe Cas secretly feels the same about us and would be disgusted if I came at him.”

“I don’t think he would, Dean. He likes you and he carried you out of hell, remember?”

“Dude, no. He always said he ‘gripped me tight and raised me from perdition’. He, I dunno, angel mojo’d me out by my shoulder, and besides, he did it because of orders, nothing more. You can’t go on that if you think the guy…angel… whatever actually gives a crap about me.”

“You don’t really believe that do you? I mean, it’s pretty obvious that he likes you, more than me for starters.”

“Yeah, can’t say I blame him. You were all hopped up on demon blood when you guys met. Obviously he has reservations.”

“Yeah, thanks Dean. Very necessary reminder. As if I could ever forget that.” Sam raked his hands through his hair and then looked at Dean again with one of his priced bitchfaces. 

Dean sighed internally. Probably not a good idea to mention that particular era of Sam’s life if he ever wanted to have a bit of peace from this conversation.

Sure enough, Sam started again: “All I’m saying is that the way Cas says it, he hasn’t just lifted you out, but he held you ‘tight’. Probably against his chest to lift the weight of your soul out of the pit. I dunno, Dean. It seems like something you guys need to talk about, because when someone holds someone like that it’s a pretty intimate touch.” 

Sam creased his brow sympathetically as Dean touched the angel burn on his shoulder, thumbing the scarred tissue in thought.

“You should call him,” Sam said and got up. He rummaged around in his duffle and put his jacket on as a third layer of clothing. “Pray to him and talk about this. And while you’re at it, find a way to stop the apocalypse as well.”

Dean watched his brother leave the motel room and hoarsely croaked: “Cas? You got   
your ears on?” into the emptiness.

 

Dean paced the motel room with bated breath, wondering if Cas would show and if he did, what on earth he was gonna say to him. ‘Hello, Angel of the Lord, I think I love you. You do too?’, didn’t seem like the smoothest way to go about this.

And what was he thinking about anyway? The world was ending. This wasn’t the right time to make gooey eyes whenever the angel fluttered in and stared at him with those intense eyes of his.

Completely inappropriate to want to rip the trenchcoat of his shoulders and check if angels were really junkless down there, Dean reprimanded himself mentally. Just because his own junk always reacted very pleased whenever he sweetened his morning shower wank off with thoughts of blue eyes and tousled dark hair, didn’t mean that Cas would be up to fulfil any of his fantasies or anything.

Dean raked his fingers through his hair on his 15th lapse across the room, already thinking that Cas wouldn’t even show, when he turned around, coming face to face with someone who said: “Hello, Dean.” 

Dean jumped as always. Partly from fright, partly because of the things he had been thinking about just now.

“Dude, make a noise!”

“I just did,” Cas deadpanned, not understanding Dean’s issue.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that, then!”

“I don’t understand. You called, didn’t you? You were expecting me?”

“Yeah, sure.” Dean was exasperated. “But it would be nice of you to announce your presence in any way.” He emphasised the words ‘nice’ and ‘announce’ in an attempt to copy Cas’ gravitating manner of speech so that he would understand him.

“I will try to amend my behaviour in the future,” Cas nodded and immediately he began staring at Dean with that intense gaze of his again. 

Then he sighed as if he was in a rush: “Why did you call me?”

Here it comes, Dean thought and suddenly his tongue felt like it was made of lead. He stared at Cas, sometimes opening his mouth as if to start speaking but only drawing in a breath whenever he lost his nerve.

“Are you alright?” Cas asked with concern denting his brows.

Dean nodded. Cause he was alright, Cas was here after all, he was just chronically inept at getting this out.

“Cas,” he croaked at long last. “Sam thinks you held me tight when you got me out of hell.”


	2. Chapter 2

Cas looked at him confusedly. 

“Yes, I did. I told you so.”

“Yeah,” Dean laughed embarrassedly. “I know you did, but I was wondering how exactly you did that.”

“Is this of grave importance to you?”

“I’d just like to know it, that’s all.”

“So…” Cas seemed a little angry. “You called me to you, even though you know that I’m searching for God, the one who can help us stop the apocalypse because you were wondering something like that?”

“Yes,” Dean said sheepishly.

Cas let his eyes fall shut and opened his mouth in a bewildered sigh, that so didn’t help Dean to get his mind off the topic. He wetted his lips and tried to breathe evenly, otherwise he might try to jump Cas here and now and make him utter sighs of an entirely different kind.

“I don’t understand you sometimes. You seem to be committed to the cause, and then you disturb me from my search with things like this.”

Now Dean felt a pang of anger spark in his chest. “Yeah, well it doesn’t look like you’re getting anywhere, and neither are we, so why don’t you just answer me?”

Cas sighed again and then he watched Dean with squinty eyes, before he circled around him and took a dauntless step closer to Dean behind his back.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Dean stammered and felt his heart race within him.

“I’m answering you,” Cas said with another instep that pressed his frame tightly against Dean’s back.

“I held you like this,” he announced and to complete the re-enactment, he placed his one arm around Dean’s torso, while his other came to rest on the mark he had left on his shoulder.

Dean felt himself sweating, and he couldn’t simply blame increased body heat by close contact for it. His skin felt like it was boiling, his heart raced as if it was threatening to jump out of his chest and without another thought, he brought his own palm over Cas’ hand on the grace mark.

He heard a low chuckle in his ear and immediately broke out in goosebumps. He knew that, if they wouldn’t wear so ridiculously many layers between them, he would feel Cas’ abdomen muscles clench against his back because of his laughter and his goosebumps got even more intense.

“That is exactly what you did when I brought you back from damnation as well,” Cas chuckled.

“What, this?” Dean rasped and his grip on Cas’ hand tightened.

“Yes. And your other hand held my second arm.”

Dean placed his other arm over Cas’ around him, shoving his fingers in-between the angels‘.

“Yes, exactly like that.” 

Dean thought about how long he could linger in this backwards embrace before it became awkward and he decided he didn’t even care about it, because heaven? Nothing compared to this moment.

“Is it a requirement that angels pull people out of the pit like this?” he asked quietly, not wanting to startle Cas away with loud noise.

“No, not really. But it’s so uncommon that we rescue people out of hell that there isn’t a rule on how to do this.”

“Then why did you do it like this?” Dean nearly whispered and turned his gaze to look at Cas.

“You really don’t remember?” Cas asked with a hitched breath when his eyes found Dean’s again.

“Remember what?”

Cas wanted to loosen his hold, but Dean held him with all his human strength. He knew it wasn’t gonna make jack squat of a difference to an all powerful celestial being that he wanted to hold him in place, so with regret pooling in his gut he felt Cas slip free further and further despite his efforts.

“Don’t,” he whispered with emphasis. “Don’t.”

Cas looked at him and his warmth encased Dean once more when he started to hug him tighter again.

“I thought you would realise it, when I looked at you the way I looked at you down in the pit. I thought you would remember at one point.”

“Cas, tell me. What should I remember?”

“How I rebuilt you. You were down in the pit, and me and the garrison fought our way in. When I found you, you just took up a razor to torture another innocent soul, but I stopped you.”

Dean felt uncomfortable now, his long years of torture coming back to him and Cas must have felt how his muscles went stiff and his gaze closed off because he stroked over the mark of his hand and splayed his other over Dean’s rips to get him comfortable again.

“I stopped you, and I burned the first demonic chars off your soul.” He pressed Dean even closer to himself and Dean felt hot warmth course through his veins, remembering the feeling from back then in hell and he suddenly remembered more.

“You did that. What you just did. I felt like I was being scrubbed clean, like everything I’d done was forgiven.”

“That’s because it is, Dean. You had to endure torture like only the very worst of hell could bring forth. Most souls would have broken after only a couple of days of this, but you endured it for 30 entire years. This torture transformed you, you weren’t responsible for what you did.”

“Cas, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed what I did. I can‘t ever forget that.”

“I know you did enjoy it. But Dean, that’s what hell does. You weren’t human anymore. You are not blamed.”

Dean felt as if more balm emanated Cas at this point, soothing his hurt and giving him peace of mind.

“I know,” he admitted quietly. 

He looked at Cas again, a tear finding it’s way down his cheek.

“Do you remember what we did next?”

Dean shook his head.

“While the others held back the onslaught of demons, before I lifted you?”

He looked down at Cas’ mouth which showed a small smile and Cas nodded. “Yes.”

“What?” Dean asked, still not getting it, his head a whirl of feelings, Cas’ grace coursing through him as well as a lot of intense emotions and inched his mouth closer to Cas‘.

The door to the motel room was ripped open all of a sudden and both Dean and Cas gave a violent twitch as at least a dozen demons stormed into the room, clearly recognisable through their completely black eyes.

“Aww, did we miss the angel groping party?” one of them smirked hideously and lurged forward to attack them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to change the archive warning now, because yeah... demons being demons.

They had zero time to react, Dean felt Cas’ arm jerk next to him and then he held his angel blade in the same hand which had held Dean before.

Cas threw him out of the way before the demons lurched for him and he hit his head against the wall, feeling himself break something on his way. Disoriented and with a gash in his forehead, he searched his belt for the demon knife, among rubble of wood splinters and plastic.

Then he felt himself ripped up by another demon, and vaguely remembered that Meg had taken the knife away just before Ellen and Jo had died.

The demon who had him in his grip possessed a 30-something truck driver type meat suit and smirked all knowingly. Obviously it had read Dean’s mind.

“No little bitch wonder knife for you to tickle us with. Looks like your angel has to see you butchered before he can get to you.”

The demon raised his fist and let it crunch against Dean’s jaw repeatedly while Cas fought valiantly against five demons at once.

Dean’s body was an ocean of pain, but then he heard a familiar voice speaking.

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satantica potestas-”

The demon who was just about to punch Dean again snarled and hissed.

Dean looked towards the open door of the ruined motel room with a ringing in his ears and saw Sam, his usual puppy dog expression replaced by cold fury. He looked much like he had when Ruby had been feeding him her blood on a regular basis.

“Another jack in the box just popped out,” one demon said and ran towards Sam while Dean gurgled out: “Omnis incursio infernalis adversarii.”

Somewhere behind him, he could hear Cas: “Omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica.” 

Dean wondered when Cas had occasion to learn a Latin exorcism, but he decided that that was a conversation for another time when the demon close to Sam held it’s ears shut, but still continually approached Sam, it’s vessel’s face a sheer mess of distorted spite.

“Ergo, drago maledictae,” he rattled out through a mouthful of blood.

Sam joined in again: “Ecclesiam tuam securi tibi facias libertate servire.”

And all three of them finished the exorcism together: “Te rogamus,” and with a relieved sigh from Dean, they finished the exorcism with: “Audinos.”

“Hear us send you back to hell you bitches,” Dean coughed as demon smoke left the mouth of the man who was still holding him down.

He saw the smoke circle the ceiling for a while before an electric blue hue glared through the black cloud and it disappeared.

“Hey, Dean. Oh god,” Sam ran over to him and in his strained face, Dean could see how bad he had to look.

“Cas,” Sam pressed out with tears straining in his voice.

“I’m here, Sam.” Cas laid a hand on Sam’s shoulder and lent down to lay two fingers to Dean’s forehead.

A few seconds later, Dean could feel Cas’ familiar healing touch fix his injuries and put his split lip and broken cheekbone back to how it had been before the attack.

“Thanks, Cas.”

Sam took his left hand and Cas his right as they helped him up from where he could finally make out that he had crashed into the arch that separated the small living area from the two queen sized beds in the room.

“There goes our deposit,” Dean said matter-of-factly, taking in the sight of 7 corpses. 5 with burned out eyes, two more stabbed. The other five showed small signs of movements.

“Dude, don’t you ever get tired of saying that?” Sam asked as he rushed over to the only 16 year old girl that had tried to attack him.

“No, not really,” Dean said as he checked the pulse of the guy who had tried to beat him to a pulp and still had his blood all over his cracked knuckles.

“What’s happening, why am I here?” the confused man stared up at Dean with a terrified expression and tried to scoot away as if he was scared Dean would hurt him, but he stopped his movement with a loud cry and held his rips. A dark, bloody spot had formed on his shirt there.

“What is happening?”

“Shh, ok. It’s alright, buddy. We’re gonna get you some help, ok?” Dean held the man tight and tried to reassure him until Cas could come over from healing another victim of the consequences of her possession.

“I remember now, I beat you up. Oh my god. Why did I do that?” The man’s eyes filled with tears, if from pain or because of the dawning guilt as he grew aware of his body had been used for evil, Dean didn’t know. 

“Listen to me, you didn’t do this. You were possessed.”

“Possessed by what? What for?” The man was openly sobbing now.

“By a demon. And I don’t know what for,” Dean looked up at Sam. “But we’re sure as hell gonna find out.” 

Sam nodded back at him in agreement and then Cas was next to Dean.

“This won’t hurt,” he rasped deeply and reassuringly. “I will heal you.”

The man tried to move away when Cas brought his fingers closer to his forehead with determination in his eyes.

“What is he doing?” His gaze went back and forth between Dean and Cas.

“It’s alright. He’s gonna heal you. Did the same for me. Countless times,” and he looked at Cas with a thankful smile.

Cas pressed two fingers to the man’s forehead and his concentrated gaze found Dean’s eyes and held it for a long while.

They finally broke the gaze when the man sighed in relaxation and looked up at Cas. “What? Is this a miracle? What are you?”

“He’s my angel,” Dean announced and only then realised what he had said. “I mean, he’s AN angel.”

“For real?” the man sounded deeply impressed.

“Yes,” Cas nodded. “It’s not as glorious as it sounds.”

He moved on to check on the last one who could have survived and Dean heard Sam ask the teenage girl with a friendly expression: “Hey, I know it’s hard, but could you tell me what the demons’ plan was?”

She only shook her head in response and sniffled: “I don’t know, I don’t know.”

“Ok, it’s ok.” Sam hugged her sobbing frame close.

“I know,” the man close to Dean said. “I remember the demons talking about a message they had. From Lucifer?” He asked his fellow victims.

“Yes,” the middle aged woman, that Cas had just healed, said.

“The demon who possessed him,” she nodded at the truck driver, “said that we had to give a message to Sam Winchester, from the devil.” 

“What was the message?” Sam asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is an experiment I'm conducting. Every chapter will have about a thousand words and will end right in the middle of the action.  
> I am reading a fic like that at the moment and it's a wonderful reading experience, so I want to try my hand at something like this as well. Please forgive me. *looks at you with Sammy's best puppy eyes*


	4. Chapter 4

“He said to tell you that you can hide all you want, he will always find you, and he’s looking forward to slipping up inside you in just a few short months.”

Sam looked horrified, if at the sexual innuendo or the whole message could not be decided. He stood by the entrance stiffly while Cas tried to read the minds of the others to see if anyone had even a vague memory of what more they could have heard during the time of their possession. Dean kept checking back and forth between Sam and Cas, wondering why the hell the devil would send out a dozen demons, just to pass on a message to Sam. Something didn’t smell kosher to him.

“Right,” he decided and got to his feet. “Cas?”

Cas caught his gaze, his brow furrowed and his eyes squinting as if he was thinking hard as well, but he nodded at Dean to continue.

“Can you get these people home while me and Sammy get the hell outta Dodge?”

“Yes.”

Cas just turned to ask the first person where they would wanna be dropped off, but Dean had another thing to say.

“You’ll call, right? Once you’re finished, so we can tell you where we are?”

“Absolutely, Dean,” Cas blinked and then looked down. “Where can I drop you off?”

“Tulsa, Oklahoma.”

Cas nodded and pressed two fingers to the woman’s forehead. Dean heard a whiff wings moving through air and the motel room was suddenly angel-less.

“Right ok, so don’t worry,” he said to the others, motioning his hands in a quieting gesture. “He will be back to bring you home. Don’t talk to anyone about what happened here and if you’re lucky you will never see our faces again.”

“I sure hope not,” the truck driver had picked himself up and helped another person on their feet now.

Dean gave a short, pained laugh. He knew that the man was right at saying this, and he really hoped the guy could go back to his regular life after this, but it would always hurt when someone told a person that they never wanted to see them again.

Dean tried to shake it off and filed it under the section: ‘Can’t be helped, your job just sucks that way‘, and turned to Sam.

“Let’s go,” he clapped his shoulder and stepped over the rumble and corpses to retrieve their bags.

When he reached the front door again, Sam hadn’t moved but still stared at the burned out eyes of the nearest dead body.

“Dude, let’s go,” Dean said with more force and pressed Sam’s bag into his arms.

“Right,” Sam said and followed him out of the room.

 

Dean drove them out of town with his usual speed, a little over the limit but not so much that they would be stopped. 

He put on some music, but after half a minute, Sam switched the radio off.

“Dude?”

Sam didn’t answer, he just stared out of the window, broodingly.

“C’mon man, talk to me.”

Sam shrugged and cleared his throat.

“I just feel bad.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Dean nodded, waiting for Sam to continue.

“I feel bad about leaving them all lying there. And I feel bad that they had to die.”

“I know, it sucks. But if Cas hadn’t done what he’d done, I’d probably be in pieces now.”

“I know that. I’m not blaming him. I blame myself, for wanting to save them like I used to.”

“This about your demonic abilities?” Dean asked incredulously and more watched Sam than the road now.

“Yeah, I guess,” Sam still stared out of the window, afraid to face Dean. “But I know I shouldn’t think like that,” he admitted and shifted so that finally looked at his brother now. “It’s dangerous and I know how much of a freak I was, but I just miss that I could help people with those powers, stop them from getting killed. I feel guilty.”

“If you wanna think like that, then me and Cas are guilty too. The demons didn’t want to see us, they wanted to see you, so it’s our fault, that they just went in to attack. Just because we weren’t what they were looking for. And anyway, the most troubling question is: Why did the demons know where to find us? Obviously they knew at least your general location. Shouldn’t we be hidden from Lucifer? Why could those punkass demons find us?”

 

When Cas showed back up, he asked him the same questions. 

Cas had told him that all previously possessed humans were back with their families and that all souls of the fallen had safely found their way into heaven. He petted Sam’s shoulder two times at that, before he turned to answer Dean.

“I am not entirely sure. I read the demons’ minds as they tried to kill us and it seems like this band wasn’t the only one send out to find you,” he nodded at Sam. “One of them mentioned some kind of network.”

“So demons ganging up to hunt us in style?”

Dean saw Cas nod again in the rear view mirror.

“Awesome.”

All three fell silent for a few minutes, while the Impala took them further and further in the direction of Bobby’s house without either of them having to think about where they were going.

“I am conflicted,” Cas spoke up. “I feel like I should stay to protect you, should more demons turn up but I want to continue my search as well.”

Dean felt pangs in his gut. He didn’t want Cas to go, there was so much he still needed to say and ask, but after what had happened today, he couldn’t hold him back in going on his quest to find his father.

“It’s ok, Cas. We’ll call when something’s up. Just pop back in as soon as you can, ok?”

Cas nodded at him, stopped to consider for a second, and finally laid his hand onto Dean’s shoulder in a farewell touch before they heard the sound of wings again and the backseat was empty once more.

“That wasn’t such a sucky goodbye as usual. Was it, Dean?” Sam smirked, clearly feeling a little better now and he watched Dean with a questioning expression which practically screamed: ‘Spill the beans or I’ll never stop pestering you until I know everything.’


	5. Chapter 5

Dean sighed and felt like he had done little else lately whenever Sam started on the topic. But after the events of today, Dean finally had something new to report.

“Turns out you were right.”

He didn’t say anything for another few minutes and then cast a quick glance over to his brother who raised his eyebrows at him.

“I need a little more info, Dean.”

“What do you wanna know if he gave me the reversed cow angel?” Dean smirked.

“Dude, no. Gross,” Sam gave an involuntary shiver. “I just mean, he really carried you?”

“Yeah, he did.” He paused for a second but then went on. “He pressed himself into my back and lifted me out. But he also said that there was something I don’t remember from when it happened. I dunno if the angel mojo he shot me up with deleted the memory or what it was, but when he showed me how he purified my soul again, I remembered that he had done that in the pit as well.”

“Ok, that sounds about right. And what then?”

“He said that there was more, but uh… well you know. We were interrupted,” Dean finished.

“Aww,” Sam sighed with a peeved expression. “And are you gonna see him again?”

“Bite me, Sammy.”

“Nope, no way. Ask Cas though. He might,” and Sam pressed his face onto the window, looking to the world as if he wanted to go to sleep.

“Sam?” Dean asked a couple of minutes later.

“Hmm?” Sam hummed, clearly almost asleep already.

“Are you ok with what’s happening?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean are you freaked or anything, because I have the hots for a guy?”

“No, I’m not. And Cas isn’t a guy, he’s an angel.”

“I know, but technically he is a he,” Dean said, not very intelligently

“Look, Dean. I know it took you a hell of a long time to actually own to the truth, but it’s not as if I haven’t noticed that you’re into guys as well.”

“What?”

“Rhonda Hurley’s brother. After she had found someone else, you still went over there. I was a kid, Dean, I wasn’t stupid. And there were others, too. Sometimes when you went out to get laid, you came back, not smelling like your own aftershave anymore. I always knew, Dean. But it wasn‘t my place to say anything until you told me about it.” 

“Did Dad know too?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he paid enough attention and c’mon Dean, you didn’t go out to get laid right in front of Dad’s nose, did you?. I don‘t think he knew.”

 

“It’s sad,” Dean said another couple of minutes later, this time really startling Sam out of sleep.

“What?” Sam asked in a throaty voice.

“That Dad didn’t get to meet Cas.”

“Dean, you had one date, don’t you think it’s a little early to think about bringing him round to the family?” Sam teased and Dean boxed his shoulder playfully.

“You know what I mean.”

“He’s really gotten to you, huh?” Sam was earnest again.

“Yeah, I guess.” 

The talk in the car died down after this and Dean drove on through the night, his thoughts full of Cas and his ears full of good old classic rock, mixed with Sammy’s snores. 

 

“It’s good to see you boys in one piece again,” Bobby greeted them at his front door.

“You too, Bobby,” Sam grinned and gave the older man a short hug, having to reach down low because, despite everything they had tried, Bobby was still depended on his wheelchair.

“Hi Bobby,” Dean grinned widely and in turn Bobby stared up at him with an unbelieving expression.

“Hey, son. What’s gotten into you? I don’t think I’ve seen that kinda smile on your face since your time before the pit.”

“That’s because Dean’s in love,” Sam dragged out the last word.

“Dude, quit it, or I’ll have to punch you,” Dean said and clapped Bobby’s back as he gave him a hug as well.

“So I take it you finally talked to your angel?” Bobby said when Dean had given him free again.

“Yeah,” Dean yawned and suddenly felt how tired he was after driving all night.

“Ok,” Bobby saw clearly what state Dean was in. “Let’s get you some breakfast and then you get up to the spare room to get some shut eye.”

Dean could only nod in exhaustion.

 

A couple of hours later, Dean was sleeping soundly in Bobby’s den, when he felt a soft press against his back, probably from the thick comforter that had he had thrown over himself.

After a while though, he grew too warm and wanted to lift the blanket up a little but realised the shape that made him too warm was Cas spooning up against his back. He recognised him by the material of his trenchcoat in his fist, which he thought had been the blanket.

“Cas?”

“Hello, Dean.”

“You’re back?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

Dean sighed and scooted closer to Cas, wanting the feeling back from when Cas had hugged him before.

“You ready to continue our talk?”

“Absolutely,” Cas rasped into his ear and promptly Dean broke out in goosebumps again.

“Shall we skip the ‘you don’t remember’ bit and you just let me know what I forgot?”

“If that is your wish,” Cas pressed two fingers to Dean’s forehead again and suddenly a memory Dean didn’t remember living through, played out in his head.

He was in the pit, three angels held Alistair restrained, while at least a dozen more fought the demons that wanted to get into the torture chamber, he had been working in today, off. 

Cas already held him and Dean felt like he was being purified once again, while he was in the by now familiar embrace position in the angel‘s arms.

Dean suddenly remembered that his whole being had felt connected to Cas and how he had raised his hand to cup the angel’s face to draw him into a long, passionate kiss right in the middle of the on-going battle.

Then he remembered one of his heartstrings giving a pang inside him and the feeling of salvation and love reach his inner core telling him that he had reached his spiritual home.

He had seen himself lifted out of the pit, accompanied by a whole garrison of angels which held the onslaught of demons at bay as Cas rebuilt Dean through a bond which had formed when they had kissed. 

He remembered flying in Cas’ arms and for once not being scared of it, because the feeling of being cherished outweighed anything else. Pain, guilt and remorse were all gone from him, the only thing that mattered was that he was in the arms of an angel. His angel.

“Dude, what does it mean when you fall in love with an angel at first sight?” Dean asked with a feeling he couldn’t quite place which was making his heart swell.


	6. Chapter 6

“I mean, does it mean something bad or anything?”

“No,” Cas said haltingly.

“I sense a ‘but’ coming.”

Cas sat up and Dean got up himself, facing the angel.

“We are already sharing a bond, through me being the one to rescue and rebuild you. But you actively kissing me in hell welcomed me in, somehow.”

“Meaning?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I have no guidance on this topic. I do not know what kind of bond we have or what it entails. Angel/human um… interaction is frowned upon in heaven. Children which arise through such connections are considered abominations, they’re called the nephilim.”

“Cas, we’re both dudes. I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that,” he paused for a while, “you know, happening.”

Cas just frowned.

“Right?”

“I don’t know either, Dean. Technically, I’m neither male nor female.”

“Yeah, I know. But you‘re inside a male vessel, so I kinda think of you as a dude.” Suddenly Dean grew wary. “You‘re right though, you don‘t really have a gender,” he said, thinking about it without looking at Cas.

“Do I repel you now?”

“God no, Cas. I’m just thinking about if I’m actually angelsexual, not bisexual.”

Dean shoved his palm inside Cas’ to ground him as he thought about how little they really knew about this thing between them, but in the end he decided there wouldn’t be any answers if he never tried it.

“Cas?”

“Yes?” Cas asked eagerly, only waiting until Dean had finished thinking.

“Putting aside the unanswered questions about bonds, possible or impossible nephilim?” he asked and Cas nodded, “and angelsexuality, I’m still a ‘learning by doing’ kinda guy, so…” he scooted closer to Cas, roaming the angel’s face hungrily and asked him: “I only know what I wanna do right now. Can I kiss you?”

“Yes, I’d find that agreeable.”

Dean rolled his eyes at Cas being so himself just now and almost closed the entire space between their faces, looked into Cas’ eyes for reassurance again and then pressed his lips to the angels‘.

It felt somehow different because it meant more to him, but also similar to other kisses Dean had exchanged in his life. Fireworks exploding in his stomach as he moved his lips over Cas’ before he pulled off for a while.

“No ground shaking, no searing pain or anything. That’s something.”

Cas nodded, waiting with for more with bated breath, so Dean grinned, shrugged and clashed their mouths together again. Now he opened his mouth with a heated gasp and let his tongue glide gently over Cas’ lip before he dipped in between them, letting the tip of his tongue catch the taste of Cas‘ mouth thereby inviting him to open up.

Cas moaned and his hands came to rest on Dean’s body as he opened his mouth and probed him with his tongue, both feeling more fireworks when their tongues met and Cas’ frame melted more into Dean.

“I like this,” Cas rasped. “I want to do this more often.”

“Same,” Dean moaned and pulled at Cas until they lay side by side, facing each other.

“So does this mean you are ’angelsexual’?” Cas did quoty fingers in mid-air.

“Definitely,” Dean grinned. “But there is no haste, I wanna do this right, not rush into anything.”

“But what if I want rushed?” 

“You ready for sex yet?” Dean asked, disbelieving. 

“I’m ready to be close to you, whatever we do.”

“I get that, but Cas this is end times. And I don’t wanna be pressured by that. I wanna have the luxury to be with you and take things slow.”

“I heard from Sam that you normally are pretty quick to jump towards intercourse. Is it because of me?”

“Yes, it is,” Dean nodded and Cas broke their gaze with a hurt frown. “No, Cas. Don’t misunderstand me. You’re special. I don’t wanna wreck this. You’re more to me than just some hook up in a bar.”

He pressed Cas down into the mattress and slid over him, still fully clothed and his hands crept under Cas’ trenchcoat, peeled Cas out of it and then Dean pressed himself onto the angel.

“Can you feel that?” He pressed his crotch into Cas’ for emphasis and the angel nodded. “Does that feel like I’m into you?”

“It does,” Cas agreed and let his hands explore Dean’s body who, other than the angel, was only clad in boxers and a t-shirt.

“How about you lose some more layers?”

Cas nodded and let Dean help him out of his suit jacket.

“Look at you, practically naked already,” Dean chuckled and Cas reached his head up, searching for Dean with his lips until he found his mouth again.

Dean cradled the back of Cas’ neck, playing with the collar of his shirt.

“More?” he gasped.

Cas only groaned and carded his fingers through Dean’s hair in response as he crowded in on him.

“I take that as a yes,” Dean chuckled again and busied himself with undoing shirt button after shirt button, revealing a muscly, tanned body.

“Jeez, what have you been hiding underneath your holy tax accountant get up all this time, Cas?” he felt his mouth water as he let the back of his hand glide up and down the angel’s smooth torso. “You’re gorgeous.”

“It’s just my vessel,” Cas rejected the praise.

“Baby, no. You came back looking like this, this is not your vessel anymore, it’s your body.”

“So, I look good to you?” Cas asked, this whole situation completely new for him.

Dean nodded, and just knew that the density of his feelings showed on his face as he smoothed Cas’ shirt of his shoulders. The angel marvelled at him, obviously not used to Dean looking so relaxed and happy.

“That expression on your face is there because of me?” Cas asked, curiously touching the crinkles underneath Dean’s eyes and the upturned corners of his mouth. Then he felt Dean utter a pleased sigh as he let his fingers glide over the hunter’s lips.

“Yes, Cas. Just because of you.”

“Curious,” he let his hands glide over Dean’s neck, felt his throat move as he swallowed around his touch dryly. “I’m curious to how else I can affect you.”

“So you wanna take this further then?” Dean smiled, very ready to go on.

As a response he felt fingers playing with the seam of his t-shirt until he had mercy on Cas and slipped out of it himself.

Immediately, Cas continued his exploration of Dean’s body on his now naked skin.


	7. Chapter 7

Cas traced patterns over Dean’s skin, his face filled with wonder when the human broke out into goosebumps.

“You’re a true wonder of my father’s creation,” he complimented.

“Thanks, I guess,” Dean muttered, not used to the praise of an angel, much less if he voiced it like this.

He decided to find a way to make Cas stop talking if he could and braced his hands on the bed to his sides, climbing on top of Cas and pressing him down while the angel’s fingers now played over Dean’s shoulder blades.

He let his fingers glide down to come to rest on Cas’ clothed crotch, and the angel jumped a little when he felt Dean’s hot palm press into the fabric of his pants.

“Cas, you ok?” Dean moaned while he let his lips trail down the side of his neck.

“Where you’re touching me, it feels intense.”

“Good intense?”

“Yes.”

“Just you wait, it gets better.” He lightly rubbed at Cas’ erection and elicited pleased sighs from the angel at his touch, but he got a bit skittish as Dean fumbled with his belt now.

“Cas, if you think it’s good when I’m doing this through your clothes, it will be much better when you can feel it on your skin.”

He eased Cas back into it with touches and kisses, going slow at removing his pants and boxers now until he took in the angel in all his naked glory underneath him.

“My god, you have no idea how much I want you,” Dean groaned and his hands slowly kneaded the angel’s firm thighs. 

“Dean, please do not bring my father into this,” Cas pressed out while Dean kept making him crazy with his tongue now joining his hands on his thighs, tasting and licking little stripes up the angel’s skin.

“Sorry, force of habit, I’ll try to not do it again.”

Dean licked his way up until he had a full visual of Cas’ erect cock in his direct eyesight.

“Do you trust me?” 

“With my life, Dean.”

“Good, then relax,” and Dean brought his palm to Cas’ cock, moaning at the velvety feel as he let his hands slide up and down once.

Cas bucked up and cried out a shocked but pleased groan and Dean looked up at him: “I take it you’ve never done that?”

“No, never. It is very pleasurable though, please go on.”

Dean was only to happy to continue to jerk Cas, thumbing the slit of his cock to coax precome out which helped him ease his way up and down.

“Dean, this is… I have no words, I want to kiss you.”

“Wait, there is more I can show you and for that my mouth needs to stay down here.”

Dean let Cas see him pointing his tongue out and licking at the head of his cock. He tried to keep his eyes open to watch what Dean did, but when he started to let his full lips slide up and down the side of his dick and lick at him at surprising moments, his eyes screwed tight shut and his head met the bed rest behind him.

He only ripped open his eyes when he felt tight wetness surround him and Dean felt himself watched as he took the head of Cas’ cock into his mouth and sank lower on in, making the shaft nice and slick.

“Dean, I- I-… give me words. I need to express myself.”

Dean let his mouth plop off and he grinned up, his eyes dark and lusting, his lips shiny with spit and precome.

“Say: ‘fuck Dean, suck my cock’.”

“Please Dean, suck my cock.” 

“Close enough,” Dean shrugged and went back to blowing Cas, who’s balls were so tight that Dean was sure he was gonna come in less than a minute.

He let his mouth trail over Cas’ cock now, not taking him into his mouth anymore, but continued to jerk him with firm strokes.

“Ok, this part has to come from you. You gotta let go.”

“The desire pooling inside me? I have to let go of it?”

“Yes, Cas. This is how you come.”

Cas panted for a bit, laying into Dean’s hand, accidentally thrusting up once and then with pleasant shock showing itself on his face, he watched as white robes of liquid shot out of his cock onto Dean’s hand. The hunter happily brought his tongue back to Cas’ slit and licked the release out while he jerked Cas through the aftershocks.

“This is sex?” he asked, once he had finished.

“One form of it,” Dean muttered hoarsely, the desire in him still unrelieved.

He looked at the come on his hand. “Wanna taste it?”

“My release?”

“Yeah.”

Cas nodded and Dean climbed up the angel again, feeling his limp dick against his own hard one and dipped his finger into the angel’s wide open mouth.

Cas again reacted with a little shock but pretty soon, he sucked at Dean’s digits with relish until there was nothing left.

“So good, baby. Wanna taste you,” Dean clashed their mouths together again, feeling Cas stroke over his shoulders. The angel explored Dean’s mouth and felt traces of his own taste still in Dean’s mouth and the thought made him very happy.

Dean moaned when Cas increased the suction of their kiss, and involuntarily pressed his erection into Cas’ hipbone.

“Dean, you’re aroused. Do you want me to take care of it like you‘ve just shown me?”

And Cas dipped his fingers underneath the seam of Dean’s briefs now, gasping when he found his dick inside.

“This is how it feels?” He experimentally thumbed over the head like Dean had done.

“Yeah,” Dean felt his neck strain as Cas jerked him, a little clumsily still, but he thought it was the best someone else’s touch had ever felt on him.

Cas managed to pull his underwear down now, finally taking in the sight of completely naked Dean, who’s cock twitched once the angel’s gaze landed on it.

“It’s so beautiful, just like the rest of you. I want it in my mouth, Dean.”

“Getting better with the talking, I see,” Dean grinned. “But there is something else I wanna do now, if you’re ready to learn more?”

“Will it make me come again?”

“Uh huh,” Dean groaned lustingly.


	8. Chapter 8

“Just one thing before we go on. Do angels digest like humans?”

“No, we don’t need digestion. Why?”

“Oh nothing,” Dean waved Cas off and crept between the angels legs again. That was a conversation for another time, he figured.

He licked at Cas’ flaccid dick, trying to bring it to life again.

“You’ve already showed me that, Dean,” Cas rasped.

“I did yeah, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wanna taste you again,” and he moaned obscenely loud as he pressed open-mouthed kisses to Cas’ dick.

He caught the angel’s gaze, knowing that what it did to a person when someone looked straight at you while they were pleasuring you and it worked with Cas as well.

“Dean, this is…” he searched for the right word while he let his fingers trail on the shells of Dean’s ears. “Hot?”

Dean nodded and made sure he was in a good line of sight for Cas as he licked the first stripe up his balls.

“Smokin’ hot, Cas,” he grinned as Cas’ dick started to fill again when he sucked his testicles into his mouth one by one.

“This is wonderful, Dean,” Cas moaned and decidedly took his own dick in his hand, figuring out which rhythm of strokes he liked best while Dean kept sucking and licking at him.

Dean figured it was time to go even lower now and again made sure that Cas could see him as he started to massage Cas’ rim with his fingers.

“Wh- What are you doing? Dean!” Cas moaned his name and involuntarily opened his legs further to allow Dean access. “Go on, more.”

“Greedy, are you?” Dean chuckled and breathed hotly onto Cas’ pucker before he licked it for the first time. He moaned when the taste hit his buds, it was Cas’ taste plus a muskiness that he smelled and tasted ever since he had buried his face between Cas’ legs, but it was so much more concentrated here.

“I could taste you forever, Cas,” he moaned and poked his tongue into Cas’ hole for the first time.

He looked up at again, seeing the angel worrying his chapped lips as he really started to lick into him to widen him more and more.

“You like that, baby?” 

Cas only nodded and kept uttering fucked out moans as Dean opened his mouth obscenely wide so that Cas got a good eyeful and began to eat him out in earnest.

Cas let his first experimental “fuck” be heard in the room when Dean started to add fingers and hit his prostate on the first thrust in.

“Yeah, Cas. You open up so beautifully for me,” Dean licked more and more, not wanting to let go of Cas to grab the lube from his duffel back downstairs, so he used more spit than he usually would have.

Cas writhed above him and was fully hard again when he thrusted three fingers into him now.

“Dean,” he panted out, “did you get me ready to insert yourself into me?”

“Yeah,” Dean moaned, his cock hard even though he hadn’t touched it while focusing on Cas.

“Do it. I want to experience you inside me.”

“I don’t know if I can do that without lube, it’s your first time after all. It’s gonna burn either way, but I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Lubricant? Where do you have that?”

“In my bag, I’ll just-” he heard a whiff of air and then Cas was gone.

Dean blinked and then he felt the angel underneath him again.

“Did you just zap downstairs, completely nude and open?”

“Yes.”

“Did Bobby or Sam see you?”

“I made myself invisible, Dean. I do not wish to show myself to them without clothes, you’re the only one who I wish to see me naked.”

Dean gulped again, seeing the angel’s trust and unspoken love in his expression. It should have pressured him, but instead his expression melted into a moved and aroused one. This thing with Cas really was something special.

He crept up, feeling the burning need to kiss his angel again. Cas responded eagerly and pulled Dean flush against himself until their hard cocks ground together between their bodies.

“Dean,” he moaned when the hunter groaned in agony, his cock so hard that it pained him. Cas opened his legs again, nodding at Dean who quickly fumbled through the duffel Cas had brought. Thankfully, he found the little bottle almost instantly and flicked it open. 

He let liquid drip into his palm and then wanted to go down on Cas again, but the angel held him tight around his shoulders.

“Can you do that without going back down?” he asked and Dean nodded, already slicking himself and Cas’ hole up. “That is good, because I want to touch all of you when we’re joined,” and Cas started his agenda immediately, roaming Dean’s body with light touches.

“Ok, baby. You ready?” Dean grabbed himself, a little awkwardly because he didn’t get all the way up to keep as much body contact with Cas as possible.

“Yes,” Cas nodded and hissed when he felt something thick breach him. Dean took it slow, only going in with the tip but couldn’t keep back on his moans as he finally felt himself going into his angel.

“Ah, god!” his stomach muscles convulsed because he was so overwhelmed at the tightness inside. The angel didn’t object to Dean violating the Lord’s name again, because his delight was so obvious to him. Cas concentrated on how beautiful Dean’s face looked as he slid further inside him. The sight of Dean’s open mouth as he bit out more strings of vocals distracted Cas from the burn he felt before Dean bumped against that special spot again. 

Cas moaned in unison with Dean now, as his cock finally bottomed out deep within him and he bit his lips again before the movement within him stilled. Dean fumbled his lip out between his teeth only to suck it into his own mouth with a long, shuddering breath.

“You ready?” he said again very hoarsely. “Because, fuck it, Cas. I need to fuck you so badly.”

“Do it, Dean. I’m ready,” Cas said because the pleasure had long ago replaced the slight burning sensation.

Dean smiled at him and chuckled a little when he moved his hips.

“No, Dean, no. Don’t make it go away, stay inside.”

“Just wait Cas,” Dean told him and then Cas felt Dean push back in and groaned deeply in reply to it. 

A couple of thrusts later, he had gotten even louder until Dean felt it his duty to muffle the angel’s moans with his mouth if he didn’t want to let everyone know exactly what they were doing here.

He kissed him deeply, his heart racing within and the extreme preparation and waiting time made him get to the brink of orgasm more quickly than he had hoped.

“Cas, I’m not gonna last, fuck I’m gonna come,” he reached down to stroke Cas’ cock and the angel uttered another surprised sigh when he managed to come even before Dean.

He felt Cas’ orgasm around himself and let his head fall into the pillow to muffle his shouts as he climaxed deep inside his angel with more deep thrusts inside. 

Cas stroked over his back and kissed the nook between his neck and shoulder while he felt hot liquid shoot out inside him.

“Dean,” he groaned again while his own last drops of come were milked out of his cock by Dean’s hand. 

“Yeah, Cas. Yeah.” Dean looked at him again, pure bliss showing on his face.

“Kiss me,” Cas demanded and Dean complied.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This leads up to the episode 'Dark side of the Moon' which canonically includes a temporary character death of both Sam and Dean.   
> Since it's canon and I'm following it in this verse, this is what's happening here. I will not put up a warning for major character death, I think this warning here is enough, because it's Supernatural and their deaths are canonially relevant and not permanent anyway.

After a long make out session, Dean must have fallen back asleep for a while, because when he came to, Cas wasn’t next to him anymore.

He pulled on some clothes and tapped down, hearing Cas’ deep voice from within the kitchen.

“So, Dean really confessed his feelings to you after Ellen and Joanna Beth’s deaths?”

“Yeah, he did,” Sam answered and Dean heard a grumble that could only have come from Bobby. “You should have seen him, Cas. Completely drunk and sobbing that he was so screwed for wanting to defile an angel of the Lord.”

Bobby hummed before he spoke: “Poor son of a bitch was breaking my heart, that was before he couldn’t hold his liquor anymore and passed out on my bed in the library.”

“I had to carry you up the stairs to your old bed,” Sam agreed.

“It was a nice change,” Bobby said. “Makes up for the nights that I have to get out of this damn chair myself and crawl onto the bed,” Bobby sounded so bitter now that Dean couldn’t take just listening anymore.

“Do you want us to send a nurse your way to help you?” he said while he rounded the corner and got into the kitchen.

“It’s alright, son. I can move well enough, I just wish I wasn’t stuck in this damn thing,” he hit the side of his wheelchair with force. “But my needs aren’t the most important now. Icing the devil comes first. Sam can you help me with the research?”

“Sure,” Sam nodded and they left Dean and Cas to themselves.

 

Dean motioned Cas to come out with him and they walked for a while in silence until they sat down on the hood of the Impala, overlooking the junk yard.

“Sooo, any regrets about me defiling an angel of the Lord?”

“You mean us having sex?” Cas asked. “No regrets whatsoever.”

“What does that mean for us now? I mean are we something or should we put that on hold while we’re, you know, trying to save the world?”

Cas thought about this for a while, letting his gaze drift over the car wrecks that surrounded them. “I think, I want to keep having intercourse with you whenever we can, though I am not sure how much contact we will be able to have. I do not know what is going to happen tomorrow.”

“Neither of us know that, Cas. It’s good that you want to continue this thing between us, because I want that too. But you’re right, we have larger concerns. Still doesn’t mean that I don’t want to kiss you right now,” Dean grinned shyly and clutched Cas by his trenchcoat, the angel following willingly to press their mouths together again.

“I could get very used to this,” Dean moaned when they separated for a second, and then tangled their tongues together again.

“Me too,” Cas panted. “But Dean, if you keep kissing me, I will grow aroused again and I don’t really have any time anymore.”

“You want to keep looking, huh?”

“Yes, it is the only valid option we have.”

“Then just one more time, Cas. One more kiss, and make it count.”

Cas clashed their mouths together again, pressing against Dean who hungrily kissed him back, his hands massaging Cas’ neck and hairline as they worked their mouths against each other.  
After a small eternity, Cas parted their lips and they held the head of the other until Cas said: “See you later, Dean,” and Dean answered with a quiet: “Bye,” while he was already just clutching thin air.

“Damn apocalypse,” he said with one tear rolling down his cheek. “Couldn’t have waited one more life time and given Cas to me without all the high stakes?”

 

He got back in to help Bobby and Sam with research. Sam filled Bobby in on what had happened with all the demons and Bobby agreed that something funky was going on there and reacted with disgust when they told him about the innuendo which had been the devils message.

“Sounds like Lucifer wants to make you his bitch, Sam. In every sense of the word. And you‘re special enough to him that he sends out this many demons so that at least one might survive to tell you what he wanted,” Bobby observed.

“Dude, sounds like I’m not the only one who might get a piece of angel ass in the near future,” Dean grinned. “You think you could make Lucifer stop destroying the planet if he just got a proper lay out of you once in a while, Sammy?”

“Classy, Dean. Real classy,” Sam bitchfaced him. “It’s bad enough we heard you and Cas moan like tortured spirits a couple of hours ago.”

“You heard us?” Dean blushed, but couldn’t stop grinning.

“Everybody heard you, ye idjit,” Bobby spoke up, pretending to be angry but then his façade crumbled. “Good to see, son. Glad you’re happy.”

“Thanks, Bobby. Now if there only wasn’t this damn apocalypse, huh?”

“By the way, I may have found something about this demon network. There is another band like that a couple of towns over. Seems like they’re using methods similar to those of the angel to find you.”

“What, like the church of Lucifer disciples preaching the end of the world at street corners, too?” 

“Most likely, yeah.”

“We should check that out, Dean. Maybe we can help more people there.”

“Sounds like fun,” Dean groaned and got up to pack stuff together for their new hunt.

 

Turns out they weren’t the only hunters who investigated the demon activity in town, because after they had exorcised every last and had gotten back to their motel for some sleep, they woke up with two hunters staring at them through skiing masks down the barrels of their guns. 

“Morning,” Dean said just before he and Sam got shot and when they came to, found themselves in a situation that was as foreign to them as the dark side of the moon. They were in heaven, desperately trying to outrun Zachariah and make their way to the garden to speak to the angel Joshua.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will briefly describe what happens in epsiode 16 and 17 of season 5. And then the plot of this fic diverges from then on, because Dean is with Cas and Lisa WILL NOT figure into the story like at the end of episode 17. Episode 18 will still happen but a few details will differ in this tale.


	10. Chapter 10

After they had talked to Joshua who told them that there was no point to continue the search for God because he didn‘t think the apocalypse was his problem, they were sent back to earth. 

Dean’s heart broke when he heard Cas call his previously priced father and God a ‘son of a bitch’, before he disappeared without another word to anyone.

Bobby sent them on another demon hunt before they heard from Cas again. Their plan to hunt at least the entire network down brought them face to face with a whole town that had turned into hunters. They were introduced to the prophet Leah Gideon who proclaimed that the end was nigh and she had the key to salvation for the whole town. This struck especially Sam as so strange that he tried to get a hold of Cas but only got a hold of his voice mail with a confusing message on it.

“I left him a message, I think,” he said while Dean nodded, hurt showing on his face.

“Where is he, man? He shouldn’t have taken off like that.”

“I know, Dean. Don’t worry, your angel will turn up again.”

 

Eventually, Cas did appear again, and Sam was thoroughly confused now when Cas told him that he had downed an entire liquor store and furthermore that Leah Gideon wasn’t a prophet at all, but the whore of Babylon.

Dean came back into their motel room a few hours after Cas had flown back in, his hands covered in blood. He quieted their fears that it was his, before he turned to Cas with a sour and abandoned expression.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“On a bender,” Cas sassed him, his head tilting to his sides a little.

“Did he say ‘on a bender’?” Dean asked Sam.

“Yeah, he’s still pretty smashed.”

“It is not of import. We need to talk about what’s happening here.”

Cas told them about how the whore of Babylon could be killed before she condemned all the souls in town to damnation.

“Awesome, let’s go pimp of Babylon all over this bitch,” Dean tried get Cas to smile again but the angel still seemed lost and destitute.

 

When night had fallen, Cas sat on a bench outside the motel room and rubbed his forehead.

“Here,” Dean threw him some painkillers.

“How many should I take?”

“You? Should probably just down the whole bottle. But do you know what really helps when you got a headache?” 

“No, what?”

“Sex,” Dean grinned but Cas just frowned and stared at the painkillers again, while Dean started talking about dead beat dads and Cas asked him how he went on when he didn’t believe anymore.

“I could say: ‘On a good day, you get to kill a whore’, but what keeps me going is the people that are still left. Sammy, Bobby and you.”

He sat down next to Cas and rubbed his back in a soothing manner.

“I know you don’t see it, now. But it gets better.”

“How will it get better, Dean? Without God, there is no way to stop Lucifer. He will kill everyone on this planet, and he’s doing it because my brethren let him do it. Your family may try to stop the apocalypse, but you wouldn’t even have to, if mine hadn’t started it.”

“Cas,” Dean caught his face in his hands. “You’re not like them. You’re on our team and that makes you my family, not theirs.”

Cas closed his eyes against Dean’s loving gaze, not ready to see adoration there just now, but he preened and pressed his head against Dean’s hands, catching one of them with his own, gliding over Dean’s fingers and then he finally opened his eyes.

“Dean,” he whispered and then his face contorted because of another pang in his head.

“Hangovers ain’t nice, are they?” Dean stroked his thumbs over Cas’ cheeks.

“No,” Cas said grouchily.

Dean kissed Cas’ forehead, his nose and then his mouth, softly and with heat in it.

“A kiss makes everything better,” he tried to grin but when he looked at Cas, he made a decision. The angels may have started this war, but it seems like they were also the only ones that could finish it. Being in paradise with Cas after Michael had ended the whole thing, in his body no less, didn’t sound like such a bad idea just now.

 

This was why, when all else failed, Dean was able to kill the whore of Babylon which could only be achieved by a true servant of heaven.

Sam, who caught on to Dean’s mindset immediately, asked him if he was gonna do something stupid, like give his body up to the archangel and Dean lied to assure him that he wouldn’t.

In the end though, he left while he pretended to get bandages out of the trunk, casting one last glance at Cas who had gotten hurt in the fight against the whore. He told himself that he was doing this for the right reasons, maybe there was a way that he could get Cas back once Michael ended the apocalypse and so he drove off into another town and packed all his things together before he went to let him take him as a vessel.

He addressed a package which he planned to send to Bobby, but before he could do anything else, Sam already stood in the door to his room and just a minute later, Cas teleported himself and Dean back to Bobby’s with his whole beautiful plan gone completely down the drain.

“C’mon Cas, let me go and do this. I wanna do this for us, damn it!”

“How is this for us?” Cas frowned at him. “You’re not gonna be you ever again when Michael possesses you!”

“Does it matter? He’s the one that can end this and then I’ll see you in heaven.”

“You stupid son of a bitch,” Cas growled at him, crowding in on Dean and pressing him against a wall. Several of Bobby’s books clattered to the ground. 

“Do you think I can ever get back to heaven like this? If you do this, there will be no reunion in heaven, you will be completely lost to me!”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season 5, Episode 18 aka 'The gayest supernatural episode ever' taken a little further. Probably also a character study of Dean.

“Oh,” Dean uttered, a little in shock.

“Yes, ‘Oh’ sums it up,” Cas said and let Dean go, who righted his clothes and then raised a hand to Cas’ shoulder blade because the angel had turned away from him.

“I don’t know if we can afford the luxury to think about us in this,” he muttered.

“What?” Cas rumbled angrily and faced Dean again.

“If people get hurt and I could have done something about it, how do you think that would make me feel?” he asked the angel who frowned at him for a whole of ten minutes and couldn’t find an answer.

 

Later, Dean repeated the question when Bobby and Sam were present as well, while Cas was standing in the doorframe to Bobby’s kitchen and glared at him.

The others tried to quiet him with their hopes that they would find another way to stop the apocalypse but Dean really wasn’t in the mood to listen. He knew what he had to do and any form of attachment would only keep him from doing it.

He told Bobby that he wasn’t his father and hated himself for it but he couldn’t take it back once the words were out. So what, if they all hated him, that would make it easier on them should he be gone.

Suddenly Cas doubled over and held his forehead like on the night that he had gotten completely drunk, but he only said that something was happening and disappeared.

Over an hour later he reappeared, carrying a very dirty young man.

“Who’s this?” was the imminent question which Sam answered.

“That’s our brother, that’s Adam.”

 

It became apparent that Adam had been brought down to earth in the hope to move on from Dean as a vessel and that the angels had managed to convince him that the mission with which he had been entrusted before he was sent back to earth was just.

Sam tried to plead with the boy, telling him that they were working on finding another way, even though he couldn’t really believe what he told the kid. When Adam asked what their plan was, Dean answered: “We’re working on the power of love,” his mind full of Cas and that he would have to leave him forever, if he did what he needed to.

“Yeah and how is that working out?”

“Not good,” Dean put on a smiling face to mask his hurt.

Sam wondered again why the angels had come up with this and Cas looked at Dean with an expression that oozed sarcasm: “Maybe they wrongly assumed that you would be strong enough to resist them.”

“You know what?” Dean turned around, angry with each and everyone and with Cas the most. “Blow me, Cas!”

Cas creased his forehead and Dean could read his thoughts as if he was the angel himself. It was evident that Cas was wondering why on earth Dean wanted to have sex with him when they were this angry with the other.

 

A couple of hours later found Dean in Bobby’s supernatural and escape secure panic room. Cas had brought him in here himself and then closed the heavy door without even looking back at Dean once.

He walked around in there like a captured tiger, nursing the hurt he felt at Cas’ behaviour so it would give him strength to push them all away.

He was just in the right mindset when Sam and Cas paid him a visit. His brother obviously wanted to talk to him, but Cas still just frowned at him wordlessly which he couldn‘t take any longer.

“Well Cas, not for nothing but the last person who looked at me like that… I got laid.”

Cas shifted his stand, obviously still angry at Dean but giving him the predatory look which Dean had seen just before Cas had opened his thighs for him. Dean’s mind went back to that moment as well and he winked at Cas to let him know that he had not forgotten their encounter.

He saw the angel shift again and his eyes darted down to Cas’ crotch. His eyes widened a little when he saw his slacks straining, barely visible between the lapels of the trenchcoat, but Dean felt drawn to the sight without being able to help it.

He had to concentrate hard on Sammy to take his mind of the aroused and pissy angel who closed the door with a whiff of his hand, the sound reverberating along Dean’s spine as he talked to Sammy about how he did not trust him.

He hated himself even more that he had to tell Sam all these hard truths, because he knew for a fact that Lucifer would get to Sam somehow and when that time came, only Dean would be able to stop him from destroying the world.

Dean alluded to the months that Sam had spent on earth without him and how far he had gone in his ambition to save the world single-handedly. While he talked about how Sam had acted when demon blood coursed through his veins, he felt the barely scarred wound open and fester within himself.

What Sam had done and how he had behaved seemed particularly unforgivable because every step he took brought him closer to the devil, while Dean had to move in the opposite direction towards another angel. And that sadly wasn’t Cas, but the archangel Michael.

 

So, Dean thought of a way to get out of his cell. He let a lamp fall down just when he felt something stir within him, telling that Cas was approaching. He was wondering at the back of his mind if this was the bond that they had consummated now? Because for reasons he could not explain, he just knew that it was Cas who came down the stairs, but he had to pull through with his plan and could not follow this thought further right now.

“Dean?” the angel came into the room and Dean called out his name, pressing his bloody palm to the angel banishment sigil that sent his angel far far away from him. Then he fled the panic room and took the Impala to the nearest town, carefully trying not to feel anything at all.

He found who he was looking for, a street preacher shouting at people about the apocalypse and told him to get in touch with his angel buddies, only to hear a rasped: “You pray too loud,” in his ear.

Only then he realised that not the preacher had called Cas here, because the angel was only prayed to when someone said their name out loud, or in Dean’s case, repeated in his head all over: “Cas, I’m so sorry. Cas, I’ll miss you. Cas, I need you.”

Cas stunned the preacher with a touch to his forehead and roughly pulled at Dean’s clothes, dragging him off into a back alley.

“I rebelled for this?” he screamed at him, royally pissed.

“Cas, what the fuck?” Dean said quietly but with an edge to it.

“So you could surrender to them?” Cas pressed Dean against a dirty building.

“I gave everything for you, and this is what you give to me?”

“Well, jeez. Sorry I took your virginity,” Dean mumbled when Cas body was all taut against his and he could clearly feel the angel’s arousal.

“This is unacceptable, Dean,” Cas said, his fists balling in Dean’s jacket. “I don’t know whether to smite you or fuck with you!”

“I know what I would prefer,” Dean rasped, scared but aroused at being completely in Cas‘ power. “Just do it!” Dean said, focusing on Cas, not knowing if he would die or get off now.


	12. Chapter 12

Cas pressed two fingers to Dean’s forehead and when Dean came to again, they were in the back of his parked car, Cas straddling him from above.

“What?” he said confusedly and took a peek out the window. “Cas where are we? I knew I parked the car in a town.”

“It’s of no consequence,” Cas said angrily while he opened his pants and pulled them down.

Dean tried to grin at that, because it seemed as if there would be no smiting today, but Cas only growled deep in his throat when he saw Dean’s smile and before he knew it, the angel practically attacked his mouth, crashing their lips together with force.

Dean’s whole world seemed to shrink to Cas moving on him and kissing him with such fire, that he just lay there panting and reciprocating, not even aware of his surroundings.

He vaguely registered that Cas shifted a couple of times on him, always bumping into Dean’s erection but he didn’t know why. All he knew was that his mouth sent spasms down his spine as it was assaulted by the angel’s tongue, swirling and pressing into his mouth.

By the time Cas pulled off for a few seconds, Dean felt like his brain hadn’t gotten enough oxygen and he was already blissed out and exhausted, when he realised what Cas had been doing while he practically tonguefucked Dean.

Cas was moving on him, in his full attire, trenchcoat and everything, only his pants had shimmied down onto his thighs and the angel was pumping three lubed up fingers into his ass.

“Cas, what?” Dean breathed when the angel used his unoccupied hand to zip Dean’s jeans open and reach into his briefs.

“I suggest you shut up, Dean,” the angel moaned dangerously and then took a hold of Dean’s cock and slipped it right past his rim into himself.

“Fuck,” Dean bucked up, the tension beforehand wiring him up so much that he desperately needed relief, but then he felt something firm and strong press his hips back down into the upholstery.

“You’re not controlling this, Dean,” Cas rasped and Dean felt his hands removed from Cas’ thighs, not even knowing when he had put them there.

Cas moaned deeply when Dean bottomed out inside of him and then he set up a punishing pace on top of him.

Dean felt utterly exposed and taken by this, his one hand came to rest clasping the back of the seat while the other held the handle of the door. He simply needed something to hold on to since Cas didn’t allow it to be him while he fucked Dean hard.

The angel didn’t say much and his moans and gasps were totally different from their first time as he shoved himself up and down, riding them both so good and roughly that within a couple of minutes, both were panting for release.

“Cas, please,” Dean begged and Cas seemed to like it, because he braced his palms next to Dean‘s shoulders and lowered himself onto him, never wavering in his movements.

Dean looked down between their clothed bodies and saw Cas’ hard cock twitch and hop whenever he plunged down onto Dean in the same breath he felt Cas come around him, his inner walls pulsing hotly. The angel started to utter guttural moans, still surprised at how good it felt to orgasm until he stilled, his orgasm over but Dean still raging hard and desperate inside him.

“Oh Cas, please!” Dean cried out in his desperation, incredibly close but Cas was on him like a rock, not moving and glaring down at him.

“Please, Cas. Move!” Dean begged again and something seemed to shift in Cas’ expression as he lent down into the position he had just been in. When he picked up his ruthless pace again, he also captured Dean’s mouth again so that he saw stars and finally came, his nerves rocking his core at all the things that Cas did to him.

Dean could only shout out edged cries as he came and once his orgasm was well and truly ridden out of him by Cas, he passed out.

 

The next thing that registered in his consciousness was Sam’s voice, asking: “What the hell happened to him?”

And then a low answering grumble right next to his side: “Me.”

Next thing, Dean felt he was unceremoniously dumped onto a bed, sleeping for hours with an angelic presence next to him.

 

When he really came to though, he was chained up in the panic room again and Sam was watching over him.

Now his brother told him that they were going out to rescue their other brother, and that he wanted Dean to come with them, because he really didn’t believe that Dean would follow through with his plans to invite Michael into his vessel.

“Yeah and why is that, Sammy?” he groused once Sam had uncuffed him.

“Because of what happened with Cas,” Sam stated and Dean blushed furiously. 

Sam creased his brow for a while, not getting why Dean was blushing, of all things, but then realisation dawned on him: “Oh gross, Dean. You didn’t?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, still exhausted. “Word of the wise? Don’t piss of the nerd angels. They’ll knock you out after-”

“Ok, sure. Got it,” Sam said hurriedly, having gotten too much information already. 

“So, suicide mission is go then?” Dean asked and Sam nodded. “Count me in. Where is Cas though?”

“He’s uh… out. He didn’t say where, only said to call him when we’re leaving.”

“Great, I need to talk to him. Didn’t get much of a chance for that last night.”

Sam only nodded hurriedly to starve off more conversation about what his brother and the angel did when they were alone.

They went out to the car and when Dean’s prayer had made Cas appear, Sam fled the scene immediately.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas said, obviously still pissed.

“Hey,” Dean answered and pulled Cas by the lapels of his trenchcoat, a habit he seemed to develop whenever he couldn’t stand his angel not being close to him.

“Thanks for not smiting me,” he whispered when the angel followed his motion and Dean was now pressed against the hood of his car.

“Don’t thank me, I might still do it,” Cas grumbled, even as Dean starting exploring his neck with kisses to soothe the heavenly anger emanating from him.

“Cas,” he moaned. “You know I’d give anything, anything!” he added with emphasis, “to find another way. But I don’t think there is, there is just me, being dumb enough to do this so we don‘t all get killed.”

He looked up, a tear in his eye and saw Cas getting angry again at him.

“Stop belittling yourself all the time, Dean. If you do that you’ll stop me from having faith in you… and in us. What does it say about me, if the human I choose to love loathes himself so much?”

“You love me?” Dean held on to the part of Cas’ speech that stuck out the most, not wanting to get to the other things Cas had said.

“Yes,” Cas said with such a hard undertone that it shouldn’t give Dean the feeling that he was actually serious, but it did just that. 

Dean felt himself grabbed tight around the middle and he sneaked his arms around Cas underneath his suit jacket and trenchcoat as well.

“Dean Winchester, righteous man, you are loved by an angel. So kindly don’t insult me by thinking you are worthless,” Cas hummed and then kissed Dean again, not letting him reply or do anything else than just feel Cas holding him, because it was exactly what he needed.

“You may be burnt, and broken, but you can still make the right decision. Right now, I don’t have faith in you, so please prove me to be wrong,” Cas rasped when he parted their mouths for a bit.

Dean swallowed a huge lump in his throat as his hands roamed up and messed with Cas’ hair as he moaned another kiss into his mouth as a sign that he would try to do what Cas had asked, even though he wasn‘t sure of himself.


	13. Chapter 13

Cas teleported them to Van Nuys, where he knew the other angels kept Adam in the green room.

Before they went in, Cas told them to give him a head start while pulling a cutting knife out of his pocket and Dean gave him a horny, confused gaze when the angel loosened his tie.

Did he have to tell his angel that now was not the right time to get naked? No, in the end he didn’t because when Cas went in he clearly as if it was done to himself when Cas carved and angel banishment sigil into his chest.

“Oh baby, no,” Dean groaned while he and Sam were still outside.

“Dean?” 

“It’s Cas, he’s uh…” Dean clutched his chest. “He’s carving a sigil on himself with that knife so he can get the other nooks away.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do, ok. I can feel it.”

“So, you’re bonding somehow?”

“Yeah and it’s getting stronger and stronger whenever we… you know what,” Dean told him, trying to distract himself from how much it freaked him out to be able to feel Cas hurt himself like that. He had figured it out now, his sudden awareness of Cas had gotten even bigger after their encounter in the back of the car. It was nice when he felt Cas like this when they were close, but to share Cas’ hurt like a human would feel it at this time was distracting, to say the least.

“That’s good,” Sam said distractedly while they waited for Cas to clear the way.

Five minutes later, Dean said: “We can go in. I don’t feel Cas anywhere anymore.”

Or any hurt on or in my chest, he added in a quiet thought as he and Sam entered the empty warehouse.

They went into the room in which Dean had spent some time back when Sam would have needed him the most and he came to late to actually stop him from breaking the last seal which had brought Lucifer onto the earth.

Now, they found their brother Adam there and when Dean caught sight of Zachariah who straight went to torture his brothers, the only thought on his mind was saying yes.

They heard the noise of an approaching arch angel, when Dean caught Sam’s gaze, and felt like his laughing in the face of death and surrendering wasn’t stronger than the bond that he shared with his family.

He winked at Sam and told Zachariah that he had a few conditions before he would hand his body over, top of the list being one dead douche angel going by Zachariah’s very own name.

Zach got so distracted about that, that Dean could actually surprise him as he drove an angel blade through his skull, the iridium blue light of Zachariah’s death the closest that Dean would ever get to angel possession as the angel’s vessel fell to the ground and Zachariah was no more.

He helped Adam up and then ran over to Sam. 

“C’mon, we’re leaving,” he helped Sam, who was closer to the exit, out first and then turned around for Adam but the door to the room slammed shut behind him.

“Dean!” he heard Adam shout. 

He tried to open the door, but the knob was way to hot and he actually doubted that Michael would let go of the door until he had taken possession of Adam.

He wasn’t sure if he really heard it or just imagined a: “Sorry I didn’t get to know you, I would have liked to have brothers,” before the light and noise suddenly disappeared and he could open the door to find the room completely sans Adam and Michael, only the broken corpse of Zachariah’s vessel was still lying where he had dropped.

 

They hotwired a car to get out of town, with their heavenly ride not within reaching distance however much Dean prayed to him.

They didn’t know anything. They didn’t know if Adam was ok, or where Cas was. The only thing they did know was that Michael had taken a vessel and it hadn’t been Dean in the end. He didn’t know whether to feel relieved at that, or to add that to the list of his failures in life.

 

It took a while for them to hear from Cas again. In the meantime, they had a friendly encounter with some pagan gods, an old friend of Sam’s who turned out to be a high level demon, with Crowley, the head of the crossroads demons, and with the archangels Gabriel and Lucifer themselves. 

Just the Winchester luck, normal days at the job, Dean thought sarcastically once they had a minute to breathe.

Turns out Gabriel had finally stood up to face his brother who created havoc on earth and he had told them about a possible solution about their little apocalypse problem. The 4 rings of the horsemen would be, if put together, open Lucifer’s cage again and if they could only get him back in there, this whole thing would go away.

Dean nipped at his whiskey bottle, chuckling desperately at that. Easy, normal day at the job, just like he said. 

Still, he lost his sarcastic mindset when Sam told him about how he was contemplating letting Lucifer take him as his vessel so he could fight against him and groused at both Bobby and Sam when his phone suddenly rang.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Cas?” he held up his hand when the others wanted to ask questions.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“Where are you, man?”

“A hospital?”

Cas told him about what had happened to him after Venice and how he was much closer to humanity than he ever was.

“I’m just so incredibly-”

“Human?” Dean felt panic rise in himself. Was this his fault? Was this the first sign that Zachariah’s vision of the future would come true in the end?


	14. Chapter 14

But he couldn’t panic, he needed to keep his calm.

“Ok, just come back here. Rest up and then we’ll talk, ok?”

“Yes, Dean. And I owe you an apology. You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man I believed you to be. My faith in you has been restored, because you said ‘no’ to Michael. I love you.”

“Thank you,” Dean responded awkwardly, and added an, “I appreciate that,” after another awkward pause.

“You’re welcome,” he heard Cas purr in his ear and a shiver rose over his entire body before he hung up the phone.

 

“What was all that about?” Sam asked once they got on the way to collect the third horseman’s ring.

“What?” Dean asked, obviously not wanting to talk about it.

“What?” Sam asked with a sassy expression and a ‘I am allowed to ask, aren’t I?’ expression.

“I dunno, he uh… told me that he loves me. Twice already, actually.”

“You know the correct answer to that isn’t ‘Thank you’, don’t you Dean?” Sam grinned at him sassily.

“Bite me, Sam.”

“Dude, you gotta tell him. He needs to know that you love him, too.”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m not good with this touchy feely crap,” Dean groused.

“You’re pretty aromantic, y’know that?”

“Yeah, whatever you say, Samsquatch.”

“But this is Cas, Dean. You should get over yourself because it’s obvious that you do.”

“Stop talking, Sammy” Dean said, shaking himself because the conversation was so awkward for him. “There’s a bigger picture to worry about, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Sam said but Dean knew he would keep out of his and Cas’ way to give them time if they should get it before the end.

 

The time for Dean to talk to Cas would soon come, because despite Dean’s words, Cas had made himself on the way to help them with their mission to get Pestilence’s ring.

Sam and Dean lay on the ground, alone Pestilence’s presence made them sick, when Dean felt a familiar presence in his mind. Cas was here, and just then he opened the door to the room they were in.

“Cas?” he asked, not even surprised anymore because he knew that it was him. “How did you get here?”

“I took a bus,” Cas rasped and then he doubled over to when his almost human body was hit with all the illnesses that sprang from Pestilence.

Nevertheless, he managed to upright himself once more with Dean pouring his last strength into their bond to help him up.”

“Not a speck of angel in you, is there?” Pestilence smiled.

Then Cas got up and held him down while he used the demon killing knife. 

“Maybe just a speck,” he groused and Dean knew he was talking about their strengthening bond without which, Cas wouldn’t have been able to get up again.

Once the ring was cut off they felt a lot better all of a sudden.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean got up and helped Sam up as well.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas said, still with blood on his lips but Dean didn’t care and just drew him close by pulling at his trenchcoat again.

Cas pressed himself to him, wiped the blood from his lips and his own and then he kissed him, humming low in his throat, not even caring that Sam was in the room with them.

“I love you,” he said rasped, and then whispered: “I feared I was too late.” 

“You weren’t,” Dean held on to Cas like he was drowning, finally complete with him here as something within him melted.

“Hey, Cas?”

“Hmm?” 

“I love you too,” Dean said hoarsely, because staring at the prospect of imminent death, even though it had been averted once more just now, really cleared his priorities. The fact that they were alive because they had shared their strength through a bond which wouldn’t even exist if they didn’t love each other, made the words fall off his tongue easily. Sam was right, they couldn’t die without Cas knowing that he loved him as much as the angel loved him.

 

They got back to Bobby’s after that and to all of them it seemed like the last breathing pause before the big storm, because of some ominous remarks of the third horseman and because there was still one ring missing.

Their bad feeling got worse when they heard that Bobby had a pretty good idea where the last horseman was.

“Tell me you have actual good news?” Dean asked him, not hoping to hear anything pleasant but when Bobby spoke up, it was worse than he had thought.

“Chicago is about to be wiped off the map, three million people are gonna die.”

“I don’t understand your definition of good news,” Cas said behind him and Dean’s head whipped up, thinking: “Babe, you’re so embarrassing!”

To his surprise, he heard an answer in his head and could practically see that Cas was frowning behind his back: “How, Dean?”

“Tell you later,” Dean replied in his mind and tried to tell himself that this closeness to Cas in his mind didn’t freak him out.

But then as if to remind them that there could be no breathing pause, they heard the all too familiar voice of the demon Crowley behind them.

During the conversation, they not only heard that Bobby had sold his soul against the location of the last horseman, but that he had reacted overly passionate to closing the deal with Crowley.

“Do you think he likes him?” asked Cas in his mind.

“No way,” Dean replied, but he wasn’t all that convinced about this. But really, Bobby and a demon?

“Stranger things have happened, Dean,” Cas rasped and suddenly Dean felt heat transmitted over the bond which couldn’t be his own, because until then he had felt calm.

“As soon as we have time, you’re all mine,” he sent back to Cas.

“How poetic.”


	15. Chapter 15

Crowley had more to tell. It appeared as if the last remarks of Pestilence referred to the Croatoan virus which would soon be distributed nationwide, labelled as swine flu vaccine. So, they would have to leave simultaneously and split up into two teams.

They said they were gonna leave as soon as it got dark, which have them just a few hours of quiet time before throwing themselves into the fight again.

“Cas, come with me,” Dean whispered in his ear and dragged the angel away from the others until they were alone.

He tested a few of the bigger car wrecks in Bobby’s junkyard, because as intense as their moment in the Impala had been, he wanted more space this time.

“Ha, awesome,” he said when he found an open station wagon whose seats were completely pulled apart so they would only have to arrange the different parts of the upholstery strategically until there was an almost even surface in there.

He crowded in on Cas and pressed him down onto the cold surface once they had put it in place, his hands finding Cas’ warm skin as he dragged his dress shirt out of his trousers.

“Cas,” he moaned into the angel’s mouth, “I kinda need to talk to you about some stuff, but I also want you so much right now.”

“We can talk later, Dean,” Cas said and slipped Dean out of his jacket and shirt. “Make the pain go away, and please fuck me,” Cas panted and Dean swallowed dryly.

“Cas, I love you and how you are right now,” he stuck his hand into Cas’ slacks and started to jerk him as the angel slipped out of his shirts and jacket, but he couldn’t keep his thoughts to himself anymore, not with Cas everywhere over his body and a presence in his mind as well.

“Dean, what’s the matter?” Cas cantered his hips up against him and pressed heated kisses to his temple, slowly working his way down to his neck.

Dean swallowed again when he felt Cas lick over his Adam’s Apple and then go further down. 

“Did I do this, Cas? Did I defile you until you became human? Any sudden need for drugs or orgies?” he tried to keep his voice playful even when Cas pulled his t-shirt off his back.

Dean shivered in the cold air around him when Cas raked his fingernails down his back to press the very tips into Dean’s still jeansclad ass.

“All I have is a need for you, and it’s not sudden at all,” Cas pressed out as Dean just pushed the angels slacks down and then felt strong, naked thighs press into his hips from both sides.

“Sex, Dean. Now!” Cas moaned needily as he ripped Dean‘s belt off, clawing desperately at the band of his jeans.

“Ok, ok,” Dean popped the button of his jeans and shimmied out of them, both of them hissing in pleasure when their naked bodies rubbed together and their cocks pulsed against each other between them.

“Fuck, so good,” Dean grabbed them both and thrust up into his fist, precome pooling down their erections so the slide was wet and hot.

“This is something you don’t know either yet, is it?” Dean moaned and felt Cas grip him tight around his shoulders and hiss whenever the friction was just too good.

“Dean, I want you inside me,” he groaned and fumbled around in his trenchcoat, first finding his angel blade and throwing it away, then finding the bottle of lube he had stashed in his pocket.

“Dude, weird mix of things to keep in your coat,” Dean chuckled but Cas only frowned at him and brought his legs further up on Dean’s body, his knees came up to the height of Dean’s rips.

“Dean,” he moaned again exasperated that he was still not being prepared. Dean felt warmth wash all through him at seeing Cas so eager and wanton for him as he started fingering him now.

“Ahhh,” Cas lifted his head up to where Dean was languidly moving his body on him in time with the pushes of his fingers, holding him incredibly close.

During the preparation, Cas’ head fell onto Dean’s shoulder and he heard a lot of increasingly fucked out moans while his own head rested in the nook of Cas’ neck as he panted and rubbed at the bundle of nerves deep inside the angel.

“More,” Cas bit out when the stretch was wide enough and a faint squelching sound was heard whenever Dean rode his fingers back into him.

“Yeah,” Dean moaned, gripping his hard cock and slicking it up.

“Yeah,” he panted when he gave himself a couple of strokes to get everything slick.

“Yeah,” he exclaimed with a harsh undertone when he laid Cas’ legs over his shoulders and pushed deep inside him.

“Yes,” Cas answered when Dean picked up a rhythm in the angel’s ass and his fingers now raked over Dean’s front as he finally pistoned into him.

He let his stubble scratch lightly over the tender skin of Cas’ legs as the position in which he held him while they fucked, brought them both to the brink of orgasm during just a couple of heated minutes.

“Dean!” Cas cried out and opened his arms for him to come closer. Dean let his sweaty hands glide up the angel’s thighs until he parted them further and the angel’s legs slipped off. He adjusted Cas’ ass and sank down low onto him, licking his dry lips before he crashed their mouths together again.

Cas’ legs crossed over his hips now, holding him in place when he was heatedly close again. He pressed his hands onto Dean’s back and his shoulder were the burn of his grace was. The angel grunted into their kiss whenever Dean’s cock massaged his prostate until he cried out happily when Dean brought him off with a few quick jerks to his cock.

After that, Cas just watched and working his hips in little circles as Dean kept on fucking him.

Dean looked into Cas’ eyes, his whole body shaking from overstimulation.

“Hold me, Cas. Please hold me.”

“Always,” Cas answered and clasped Dean tight who finally came, feeling completely secure and loved within the embrace of his angel.

While he rode the waves of his orgasm out, he felt something seep through him where Cas touched the scar of his grace and then a blue light appeared at his shoulder.

Then he finally stilled his thrusts and Cas smoothed his hand over Dean’s now unblemished skin there.

“The grace mark is gone,” Cas panted.

“Yeah, because our bond is complete now,” Dean said breathlessly with a conviction of which he didn’t know where it came from when Cas looked at him and only nodded because he had felt it too.

“So you’re officially mine now?” 

“Yes,” Cas answered with a pleased sigh. “And you’re mine,” Cas said while he draped his trenchcoat over their bodies because he just felt that Dean grew cold and continued to hold him, softly stroking him and pecking him wherever he wanted.

Dean softly sighed against him in his sleep, and then Castiel himself drifted out of consciousness, sleeping for the first time in the afterglow of their sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in the beginning of Swan Song, Dean speaks pretty nasally as if his nose is blocked. My explanation for that is that he caught a cold while being in that old junker with Cas.   
> *wicked smile*


	16. Chapter 16

In the evening before they both left on their individual missions, Dean pulled out of Cas and had to harshly rip his head around because he didn’t want to sneeze directly onto Cas.

“Son of a bitch,” he said with a bit of surprise. “You don’t have a tissue in your coat as well, have you?”

“No,” Cas said, moving languidly underneath him like a cat that’s in it’s favourite sunlit spot when he felt Dean’s come leak out of him.

“Damn,” Dean muttered nasally while he redressed himself again. 

“Don’t move, I’ll be right back,” he promised and returned a couple of minutes later, with his nose clean and an old ripped t shirt.

“Lift your hips, can’t have us saving the world with my come staining your pants, baby,” he chuckled while he wiped Cas clean and then helped him to slip into his pants again.

“There,” Dean said and helped Cas close every shirt button, which even though it filled him with regret because he didn’t know when or if he would see Cas naked again, but it was also the most intimate moment he had ever shared with another being.

“We only have a couple of minutes before we leave,” he nuzzled himself into Cas’ sex hair. 

“I already mentioned what was worrying me, how do you feel about being human or nearly human?”

“I feel useless,” Cas said bitterly while he slipped on his jacket.

“How the tides have turned, huh Cas? Just a few days ago you told me I shouldn’t feel worthless, so uh… kindly don’t insult me by thinking that. Isn’t that what you said to me?”

“But, Dean. I can hardly help now,” Cas said downcast and clasped to Dean in desperation. 

“Bullshit!” Dean groused and bit lightly into Cas’ earlobe, tugging it a bit. “Look at me, Sam and Bobby. We’re only human and we’re doing our best too. Let‘s see how we get through this, ok? I can‘t say I have much hope, but don‘t give up on us, man.”

It wasn’t obvious what Dean meant, either their mission to stop the apocalypse or their personal relationship. He felt Cas decide after a bit of consideration that Dean had meant both at once, which brought Dean to another topic that needed discussing.

“Now, this bond of ours… What are we gonna do about that?”

“I don’t think there is anything to be done about it,” Cas whispered hoarsely. “As I descend further into humanity, it will go away. It is an angelic bond and will dissolve if I turn fully human.”

“So that means, should we by a miracle or other survive this thing, you’re not gonna love me anymore?” Dean swallowed heavily while he awaited Cas’ answer.

“No,” the angel answered and Dean’s heart dropped into his stomach.

Cas must have felt Dean’s reaction because he held him even tighter now.

“No, it will not go away. Only the angelic bond will go away. I think you’d appreciate that, because you seem to be uncomfortable with us sharing a direct link.”

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s been kinda useful, particularly with Pestilence, but it’s freakin’ weird, man. I mean, I can feel you and hear some of your thoughts. That’s not natural.”

“I know it’s not,” Cas said and Dean suddenly felt like a jerk when he felt Cas flinch in his mind at the reminder that he and Dean were not alike. 

“So that kinda means as long as you’re an angel, we’ll have this bond now? And what if you become human?”

“We would be able to live without it, and I’d still love you,” Cas said, carefully probing at Dean’s feelings about that through the bond.

“Would you be happy if you would be human for good?” Dean whispered and probed into Cas’ feelings as well now. 

Both felt conflicted, but underneath their confusion, there was one truth that could not be denied. Whatever happened, or how it would be achieved, they wanted to stay together.

“At least that much is clear,” Dean rasped and crowded in on Cas again who tilted his head up to give Dean one last, intense kiss before they joined the rest of their team for the last stand against the apocalypse.

 

When Dean pulled off the property with the demon Crowley in the car and Bobby, Sam and Cas were leaving in the other direction he felt one last farewell touch float through their bond before he couldn’t feel Cas anymore and only then did he admit to himself that he really didn’t mind the bond as much as he minded not feeling Cas anymore.

 

He and Crowley went to Chicago where, after a bit of searching he found the last rider of the apocalypse. Death was scary, but it became apparent that he wanted something from Dean and gave him his ring on conditions which concerned Sam.

Death made him promise that he was gonna let Sammy finish what he started and to let him carry out his stupid plan to let the devil in. According to Death, Sammy could get the devil if he was riding around in his meat.

“And Dean? Once this is over and your brother is Lucifer’s plaything in the cage, you’re gonna walk right over the veil and return my ring to me. I require it. Do not try to trick me, boy. You can’t hide from me, nor can your angel.”

Dean gulped and promised with a shaking breath to do everything that Death wanted.

 

When he returned to Bobby’s property, he saw Bobby walk towards him.

“Still can’t get used to you at eye level,” he announced, almost having forgotten that Crowley had been gracious enough to give Bobby the use of his legs back when they had sealed their crossroads deal. In the back of his mind, Dean now thought about the possibility that not only Bobby had a certain soft spot for the demon, but that this kindness without expecting any favours for it was Crowley’s way to tell Bobby that he quite liked the silly old bugger too. 

Dean showed Bobby how the 4 horsemen rings they had collected worked and then asked him what he thought happened to people who screwed Death over, because he really didn’t want to consider the possibility of Sam, his little brother who he had watched out for all his life having to do something he couldn’t help him with or take over for him.

“So what exactly are you afraid of, Dean? Losin’? Or losin’ your brother?”

Dean looked at Bobby, not finding an answer to his question and felt his throat itch and burn, his nose blocking up again too.

“I dunno,” he sighed and raked his hands through his hair. “All I know is I’m cold and I wanna find my angel.”

“You do that, son. Tomorrow it’s too late to get warm, so you better stock up on it now.”

Dean nodded at the older man and spent the rest of the night with Cas, not having sex and just holding on to each other while both of them wanted to chase the ice-cold throes of desperation away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, after Swan Song this diverges so much from canon, that *gasp* there'll be a happy ending for the boys.


	17. Chapter 17

In the morning, Dean’s throat was still a bit itchy and he spoke nasally, but Cas’ body heat had kept off the cold, for whatever it was worth. Because when he talked to his brother and told him that he was fine with Sam trying to wrestle Satan in his own head, he felt something in himself break.

He broke further when they bled out a couple of demons, so that Sammy had enough demon blood to drink to take the devil in. And then he still broke a little more so there were just shard of him left when Bobby mentioned having caught omens of Lucifer in Detroit, just like Zachariah had shown him in a vision of the future.

They were on their way there now, nothing remained but their desperate attempt to, at long last still save their planet, when Dean turned to Cas in the back seat, his last anchor in a world crashing and burning.

“Ah, ain’t he a little angel,” he said, with a fond expression in his eyes.

“Angels don’t sleep,” Sam announced over Cas’ cute soft snoring. 

“Dean, there is something else I want to talk to you about, Dean. You gotta promise me something.”

“Yeah, anything.”

“You gotta promise not to try and bring me back,” Sam said and it felt like a brick sank into Dean’s stomach.

“What? You know I can’t do that. Don’t ask that of me,” Dean got so upset that Cas stirred in his sleep, feeling Dean’s disquiet.

“Yes, Dean. I am asking that. You live some normal, apple pie life, ok? You grab Cas and get the hell away.”

“But we could do something, we could find a way.”

“No, Dean. You can’t. It’s too risky. You can‘t go poking at the cage.”

“So you want me to let you rot in hell, is that it?”

“No, I don’t. Like any sane person, I don’t look forward to hell, much less sharing a cage with Lucifer, but we need to do this, Dean. We already decided that.”

After that, Dean didn’t want to argue anymore, he was just tired and drove on to their destination.

 

They were in a back alley in Detroit just a bit later, and Dean, Cas and Bobby were waiting for Sam to finish drinking what he had to drink.

“I can’t,” he bit out through gritted teeth, Cas holding him to put him back together.

“You can, this is the only way. Sam needs you with him on this,” Cas said and pulled Dean close.

Despite everything, Dean found calm through Cas’ touch and steeled himself when Sammy closed the back of the trunk and they went over to the house in which Lucifer was, Sammy shouting out loud that he was here and wanted to talk to the devil.

A few minutes later, they were in the presence of the incarnated devil on earth.

“Hello, you two,” he said completely calm. “Sam, hello. Very good to see you,” Lucifer actually managed a cheeky grin that practically freezed their guts.

Dean could only stand by, while the devil practically ogled Sam who repeatedly gave him his yes until a blinding light filled the room and poor Nick, the devil’s prior vessel fell down onto the ground. He was either dead or in such a deep coma that he wouldn’t awake again while Dean opened the door to the cage with the combined horsemen rings.

He froze again when Sam turned around, but nothing of Sam’s mannerisms were to be seen on his face. He hadn’t managed it, Lucifer had him in his grip.

“I told you this would happen, Dean,” Lucifer smiled in mock benevolence before he disappeared with the horsemen rings no less, and Dean felt his last hope shatter and his eyes fill with tears.

 

In a fog of grief and panic in their minds, Dean, Cas and Bobby walked aimlessly down a street until they came to an electronic shop where there were several reports of natural catastrophes on air.

“It’s starting,” Cas said and overtook Dean in his stride.

“Yeah, you think, genius?” Dean groused.

“You don’t have to be mean,” Cas answered his a sympathetic expression in his eyes and Dean just couldn’t deal with right now, he couldn’t fall apart.

“So what are we gonna do?”

“I suggest, we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol and hold on, until whatever happens, happens.”

“No, Cas. We are not giving up. Right, Bobby?” he turned to the older man, his last lifeline in this situation, who only looked at him with hopeless eyes.

“I don’t know what else to do,” he said, which was a bitter first to hear from him.

Dean just walked off after that, off to his car. There he sat down, his hands shaking and his shoulders heaving with all the weight crushing down on him.

There was one last stop he hadn’t pulled yet, and that was the prophet Chuck. Maybe he was his last hope. He knew he was fishing for straws at this point, but if he had learned one lesson, it was to never lose hope and give in to desperation. If there was one thing that could be changed, he was gonna do it. Desperation was for those who knew without any doubt what was coming, and decided not to do anything about it. And that was just not him.

He heard from Chuck where the price fight between the archangels was gonna go down and now the only thing remained was to make sure his car was set for the journey there. But just before he wanted to drive off after making sure that his legs weren’t too wobbly to work the pedals, Bobby and Cas came up.

“You gonna do something stupid, boy? You got that look. And Cas here told me what you’re planning on.”

Damn it, he had clean forgotten about the bond.

“Don’t try to stop me,” Dean said when Cas heard the entire plan in Dean’s head. “I ain’t gonna let Sammy die alone, and it’s the last thing we can do. I’m sorry, I know I made a promise to Sammy to get out of here with you, but I can’t do that.”

“I know you can’t. I’m coming with you. You‘re maybe not letting your brother die alone, but I am also not leaving you alone,” Cas said decisively.

Dean nodded, and shoved his palm into Cas’ roughly, and both looked at Bobby, who just nodded.

“Lead the way, idjits.”

 

They made themselves on the way, then. Nothing remained to say, they only drove in silence, Cas scooting close to Dean on the front seat of the car so that he could still drive without being impeded, but felt Cas’ presence close to him at all times.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this is Swan Song, I assume everyone reading this knows about the temporary character deaths in the episode. Don't blame me for the feels.^^

When they were close, they came up with a little delay, so that Dean could talk to Sam and then, in a gesture that was fuelled by recklessness, Dean drove his car until he could see the shapes of his brothers, both possessed by archangels while the speakers of his car blared Def Leppard.

“Hey fellas. Am I interrupting something?”

Michael and Lucifer looked at him as if they just couldn’t understand how someone could be so stupid, which made a flame of anger flare up inside Dean. How dare they think they could just do this shit and nobody was gonna stand in their way?

He kept his upper lip stiff as he talked to the some of the most powerful beings in the whole universe, until he heard Cas’ voice: “Hey, assbutt!” as he threw a burning holy oil torch at Michael.

“Castiel? Did you just molotov my brother with holy fire?” Lucifer said, the rage emanating him could almost be tasted in the air and Dean just knew all was lost. 

He could only do one last thing for Cas, and that was to tell him that he loved him in his mind before Lucifer snapped his fingers and the love of his life exploded into little chunky bits right in front of his eyes. The shock was so great that Dean couldn’t even speak, much less react as he felt the bond inside him flare up once and then die out entirely.

Lucifer turned his attention to him, only turning around once when Bobby desperately shot rounds into Sam’s body, the last stand against the devil killing both his adopted sons at . 

When Lucifer raised his hand and snapped Bobby’s neck with a simple gesture, Dean really screamed out, but the devil only held on to the lapels of Dean’s jacket in a mock gesture of what Dean had started to do whenever he needed Cas close, and his heart pinched him hard at the devil’s cruelty. Surely he must know what he was doing, when he smirked at Dean and then started beating the crap out of him.

He didn’t count the punches, only felt his bones break as Lucifer wrecked his face, his whole body being a sheer mess of emotional and physical pain.

“It’s ok, Sammy. I’m here,” he rasped out, a sharp pain coursing through his broken jaw.

Suddenly a beam of light hit the chrome frame of the backdoor of the Impala and the devil stopped his assault.

Dean saw through a bleary mist that Sam’s face contorted and then he let his fist sink.

“It’s ok, Dean. I got him,” he panted in a strained manner and got the four horsemen rings out of his pocket. He opened the cage in hell, but just when he cast a last glance at Dean, the other archangel appeared again.

“Sam, no. I need to fight my brother. It’s my destiny,” but Sam didn’t care about Michael’s so called destiny. Destiny was just a word, nobody forced you to fulfil it, so he looked at his broken brother again before he raised his arms and lent back, taking control of the apocalypse for the sake of all other humans.

Michael tried to grab him, but Sam only used the leverage of his beginning fall to tumble into the hole with him.

Dean panted out one sharp, pained breath and felt great relief, but also a stab at the finality of the cage closing behind them. He crawled to the burning hot rings in front of him and sat up onto his knees, his mind numb with all that had happened just now.

No Sam, no Bobby and no Cas. Right now, he wasn’t happy that the world was saved, how selfish the thought might be. Nobody was left, so he had half a mind to crawl over to the dead broken frame of Bobby next and see if there was still a bullet left in his colt, but suddenly something changed.

He felt a soothing presence in his mind and when he looked up, he saw Cas, leaning down and pressing two fingers to his forehead.

“Cas? Is it really you?”

“Yes, it’s me.”

“How?”

“I do not know. All I know is that I was not eliminated, but I was given a choice.”

“A choice, by who? God?” 

“I assume it. It must have been him,” Cas walked over to Bobby and brought him back to life as well.

“So what does that mean?” Dean felt Cas’ hope course through his veins, and allowed it to heal his broken mind.

“It means, I heard a voice inside my head. It asked me if I wanted to come back. And it gave me two choices. Either, I was gonna come back as an angel, or I was gonna come back with a soul and the last angelic powers would leave me the more I used them.”

“And what did you choose?” Dean asked, when his mind already told him the answer.

“I chose you,” Cas answered simply. “After healing you and Bobby, there is just enough left for one small thing. No,” he shook his head, sensing Dean’s thought. “I will not be able to bring Sam back.”

Dean nodded, his hurt flaring up again, but Cas walked back over and held him tight.

“I can feel how hurt you are, and I feel it too.”

Bobby walked over, his legs shaking.

“Now, we all know that the promise you gave Sam was a boatload of crap, so how are we gonna bring him back? Preferably without letting the devil back out with him?”

“I don’t know,” Dean said, looking at Bobby with Cas’ palms on his cheek. “But I do know that there is still one promise that I have to keep.”

“Death?” Cas asked, already knowing what Dean had planned.

“Yeah, he needs his ring back. I need to contact him again, but I don’t know how.”

“That’s quite simple. We find someone who can take us into the veil and then we summon him.”

“We?”

“Yes, we. I will not let you do this alone. But we will not do this right now, we all need some rest before we find a way to help Sam.”

“But Cas, you know about hell, that every second he’s in there it takes way longer than up here.”

“Yes, I know. But Dean, I am sure we do not have to worry about the sort of torture Lucifer gets up to when he gets bored. You do remember his message about uh… ‘slipping up inside’ your brother?”

“What hold up, you’re not thinking?” Dean said, not allowing any mental images to flare up.

“I do,” Cas said. “It will take a while until that stage is overcome, I believe.”

“Boys, I can’t understand your mental conversation. Can you explain what the hell is going on?”

“Lucifer has shown interest in Sam, you remember that, don’t you?” 

“Yeah, so?”

“So, my brother may be many things, but he is no liar, and he’s not entering any body without permission.”

“So you’re thinking… oh.”

“Yes,” Cas nodded. “I assume, we have a while until something’s going down.”

Dean actually laughed out loud about that and his courage grew just knowing that he was not alone in trying to get Sammy back.

“So, I guess we have a date with Death tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, this story leaves the path of the series. I will get Sammy out of hell a different way and Adam too.   
> I think I'll end this story soon after that. When all the storylines find an end.


	19. Chapter 19

Dean thought he couldn’t possibly sleep tonight, the images in his brain too contorted and horrible, but the familiar smell of Cas and his arms around him lulled him off into an exhausted sleep as soon as their heads had hit the pillow in Bobby’s den.

When he woke up again in the morning, he needed a moment to remember what had happened and why he felt like there was a hole in his body.

Cas squirmed against his back, feeling his discomfort and rasping sleepily: “Dean?”

“Sorry,” Dean whispered. “Didn’t mean to wake you, baby.”

“It’s alright,” Cas said and nuzzled against Dean’s back again.

“So, you’ve got a soul now?” Dean asked, his exhausted brain not having fully registered that fact yesterday.

“Yes,” Cas answered.

“How are you feeling about that?” Dean asked and if he wouldn’t know he had asked this question, he wouldn’t have believed it.

“It was my choice,” Cas rasped. “I had to choose the angels or you. And it may seem fickle to choose you over millennia of spending time with my brethren, but you mean a lot more to me than they ever did. When I was given the choice, I chose to be with you and not watch you age and lose you in the end.”

“Dude, you gotta read this one book that‘s been made into a trilogy of movies,” Dean said, stroking over Cas’ forearm around his chest. “Seriously, you sounded just like the chick from the movie right now.”

“Must you always ruin the moment, Dean?” Cas said, a little annoyed as he playfully poked his nose into Dean’s neck.

“Yeah, that’s what I do,” Dean chuckled, and when he realised he was laughing, a pang shot through his body again.

“We will get him out, I promise,” Cas calmed him.

“Better sooner than late,” he answered and turned around to Cas. “Let’s get up, ok?”

“Yes,” Cas answered and immediately slipped Dean’s Led Zeppelin t-shirt in which he had slept, off.

“Cas, if you’re doing that we’re not gonna get out of here for a while,” Dean actually smirked.

“What? I am just changing into my usual clothing,” Cas frowned and wanted to slip his old clothes back on when he got up, wearing nothing but a pair of Dean’s black sleeping shorts.

“Hey, um… nothing against your look or anything, but don’t you wanna wear something differently for once?”

“What do you mean?” Cas frowned.

Dean sighed and dug some things out of his duffel. 

He handed Cas a pair of his jeans, a t-shirt and a plaid shirt of his.

“It’s way more practical than your trenchcoat,” he nodded at him with a smile. “The jeans may be a bit wide for you, but it should fit.”

“Does this mean I’m a Winchester now, if I’m wearing a plaid shirt?” Cas smiled softly.

“Do you wanna be a Winchester?” Dean asked stupidly and his heart thumped in his chest like mad.

“Dean, what’s the matter?” Cas let the clothes fall onto the bed and pressed his palm to Dean’s heart. “Are you unwell, is this normal? What do I need to do?”

Cas’ concern shouldn’t be this adorable, Dean thought, as he quieted him with: “It’s ok, it’s nothing bad, alright? I just got excited about you being part of my family for real, that‘s all.”

“Yes, I understand,” Cas smiled but then tilted his head a little. “But there’s more, isn’t there?”

“Let’s talk about this later, ok?” Dean put an end to Cas’ inquisitiveness and decided to change the topic while Cas took up his new clothes again.

“By the way, you said you’re not an angel anymore, then why do we still have the bond?”

“I think as long as there is still some, as you say ‘mojo’ inside me, we will still be able to sense each other.”

“Ok, got it,” Dean said.

“Does that concern you?” 

“No, not that much. I’m glad I have it back, actually. Because when Lucifer… you know…” he couldn’t even talk about the events of yesterday, “it was just gone, and I hated it.”

Dean took in the sight of Cas in his jeans, a simple black t shirt and an old purple plaid shirt which he hadn’t worn in a long while and somehow felt like something was stuck inside his throat and he needed to sit back down onto the bed.

“I thought I had lost everyone,” he whispered as Cas walked up to him, “Hell, I had.”

“I know,” Cas stepped close and hugged him while he towered above him. “But we’re back.”

“Not all of us. My brother is still in a hole,” Dean said strainedly, his head pressing into Cas’ firm stomach.

“We’ll find a way,” Cas soothed while he rubbed circles onto Dean’s back. 

“Now can you please tell me how you find my new attire?” he tried to distract Dean who, because he was weak and only human, raked his hands over Cas’ body inside his clothes, grabbing Cas’ butt through the fabric of his own jeans and finally felt strong enough to get up. 

He stood pressed against him now and whispered: “You look awesome in my clothes, babe.”

Cas pressed his fingers to Dean’s lips with a wondrous expression at his smile and his uncharacteristic happiness before he frowned again. 

“Dean, it will doubtless take me a while to adjust to human life, and I think you’ll be a great teacher, but there is something I require of you.”

“Anything.”

“You have to convince yourself that it was worth giving up being an angel for you. I don’t want to see you through your own eyes if you’re not thinking you’re good enough and you don’t deserve to have good things happening to you.”

“I have you, Cas,” Dean said as a start to saying he was gonna try to be happy and whole for him, but he was gonna have to have patience in order to allow him to heal. But when he had started, he realised that he really had Cas now, nobody would take him away, the apocalypse had ended and all the weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“I have you,” he emphasised it again. “And you’re not gonna leave. You did all of this, just for me. Without me asking you too,” he breathed deeply when he thought about all of that.

“Cas, I don’t think I even have to try to be happy. Because I already am.”

“Yes, Dean,” Cas agreed when he felt Dean’s happy calm, “It’s time for peace now. And freedom.”

They held onto one another for a while afterwards, until they heard Bobby shout at them from somewhere down the hall: “Are you idjits gonna sleep all day, or are we rescuing Sam now?”

 

Bobby hadn’t told them what he had done in the mean time, but when they had left the old cemetery in Lawrence, he hadn’t gone straight back to Sioux Falls but had visited an old friend.

When Dean came down, he was face to face with Missouri Moseley to his shock and pleasant surprise.

“Hey,” he ran over and embraced her with a wide smile.

“Dean, my boy,” she smiled but when he let go of her she wore a stern, motherly expression: “Now let me look at you. You seem to have seen some great evil since we last met, but there is something else too. I bet that’s coming from that young man right behind you, isn’t it?”

Missouri now walked over to Cas and looked at him with a fond expression: “You made the right choice, boy. You would have broken yourself if you hadn’t made the decision to stay with that big lump back there,” and she pointed at Dean.

Cas frowned at being called a boy, but he could see that Missouri was a good person and also: “You’re a psychic?”

“Why, yes. I am. Why do you think Bobby contacted me? You know for someone who spent most of his lifetime being an angel, you are a bit slow. Must be Dean’s bad influence.”

Missouri pointed at Dean behind her back: “Don’t roll your eyes at me, boy. And you both better get ready for me to send you over the veil. Bobby, you go and prepare the summoning spell, we ain‘t got all day,” she took the lead on their mission to fulfil their promise to Death and plead with him about getting Sammy back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise Missouri for y'all. ;)


	20. Chapter 20

“Lie down boys,” Missouri said and Dean and Cas laid down onto the single bed that they hadn’t had the time to disintegrate, now that Bobby didn’t need to sleep somewhere where no steps were in his way.

“I sense that it’s not your first time doing this. Is it, Dean?”

“No, ma’am,” Dean said, a bit out of breath at the prospect.

“Still know how it works?” she asked about moving and disappearing as a ghost and Dean nodded.

“Somehow, I doubt you’ll have to move a lot of objects though,” Missouri said contemplatively when they settled on the small bed and then heard the familiar incantation which sent them into the world of spirits.

“Cas?” Dean said, turning around in the room, Missouri and Bobby over at the fireplace not able to see him.

“I’m here, Dean,” he saw Cas stand by the doorframe.

“Right, now let‘s see,” Missouri said, holding her hands over their bodies, just at the height of their hearts. “Yes, their souls are not there anymore.”

She looked at Bobby, who looked a little struck about that fact: “Well, what are you waiting for, Grumpy? Cast the spell!”

“Watch who you’re callin’ grumpy, old gal,” Bobby muttered as he went to work.

Dean and Cas watched him as he mixed the ingredients and said some complicated words over the bowl before he lit a match and set the mixture on fire.

Dean flinched at the high flame that leaked out while Cas next to him already started casting they glances here and there in search of the horseman.

“Can you tell me why a former angel and a human cross over to talk to me?” Death suddenly sat at Bobby’s kitchen table and Dean turned around, catching a hiss from Missouri who involuntarily shivered behind him. Then he saw Death, still pale and so thin that his skin was all taut over his face.

“Well, uh… I still have your ring. And I’ve been meaning to ask-”

“You want to ask if I’ll retrieve your brothers’ souls from the cage. I thought you would raise some ridiculous demands. I am quite surprised that you don’t,” Death said with such a deadpan expression that the effect of his surprise was slightly lessened.

“Yeah, I would’ve. But I’ve been told not to try that,” he cast a nervous glance at Cas who nodded at him.

“That is a first,” Death said and got up from his seated position to look at Cas, “You gave up all your power, your wish to bring a better life to your kind. For this human?”

“Yes,” Cas said simply but when his eyes found Death he spoke about something that had been worrying him: “Since you mentioned them, there is something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. I do not believe that all angels are happy about the fact that the story wasn’t completed as it was written. And you as an all powerful being can surely see that it would be in all our best interests to make sure that Armageddon stays derailed.”

“Yes,” Death said. “I do see the advantages of that. Particularly because, if Lucifer walks free again, I would be enslaved to him again. So, shall we say, the ‘traditionalists’ among the angels, need to be removed,” he ended with deadly calm.

Cas’ brow was furrowed and even in their state without bodies, Dean could still feel Cas’ distress, because it was his soul that was joined with Cas‘ being and soul.

“It doesn’t have to be that way, does it? Isn’t there a way to shut them out or something?”

“There is,” Death said. “But I would not advise it. Closing off heaven would mean that souls have no way to go after I reap them, unless you want them all in hell or permanently stuck in the veil.”

“Uh no,” Dean said, obviously he didn’t want that.

“Don’t roll your eyes, Dean,” Death said and it sounded infinitely more terrifying than when Missouri had said it before, “it’s impolite.”

“Sorry,” Dean said and knew Cas must feel his terror at the unspoken threats emanating from Death.

“Strange,” the horseman said. “You actually mean that. I am not in the habit of being surprised, and twice today has been quite enough.”

Dean huffed, looked at Cas who gave him a shrug to wait until Death made his decision.

“Tell you what,” Death finally spoke up after he took a few lapses across the room. “If you two surprise me one last time, I will help you. But here comes the wager: You’re gonna do my job. Together. For shall we say, three days?” he asked, even though it was obvious that he wasn’t expecting an answer.

“Yes, three days of you working as a reaper and you working as me,” he pointed at Cas first and then at Dean. “Surprise me. And if you do not work continually, you lose,” he said as a parting word and then he was suddenly gone.

Behind them, they heard a loud breath and Missouri whispering the incantation to zap them back into their bodies in their ears.

They both rose up from the bed with one deep breath and looked at Bobby and Missouri, still a little shell-shocked about what had happened.

“Ok, so what’s the deal?” Bobby asked.

“Turns out Death wants to take a vacation and we’re gonna be doing his job,” Dean said matter-of-factly while Cas just nodded at the dumbstruck expression of the other people in the room.

 

“So how’s this work? I mean I can just put on the ring, but what are you gonna do, Cas? You can’t just magically shezam yourself to become a reaper.”

“I doubt that Death expects that. I believe since we’re supposed to work as a team, I will transform as soon as we take up our work.”

“So reaper Cas, as in angel of death? Hope that gets reversed, because I don’t wanna die when I touch you,” Dean chuckled nervously, remembering that one touch to a reaper or Death himself, killed instantly.

“Yes, Dean. During the next three days we are not allowed to touch each other, or we’ll both die,” Cas nodded, his words serious and grave.

“I don’t think I can stand that,” Dean gave him a wide smirk. With a mild pang in his gut, he realised he hadn’t smiled like that since his time before hell.

“It is dire,” Cas agreed gravitationally, “but it’s the only way to end this our way.”

“Well, guess then I’d better make this count,” Dean said and clasped Cas around the neck and claimed his mouth in a heated, forceful kiss that sent Cas back onto Bobby’s kitchen table as Dean’s hands roamed over him.

“Boys?” they heard Bobby ask exasperatedly.

Then they heard a slapping sound. Obviously Missouri had smacked Bobby and said: “Can’t you see they need some private time? Leave ‘em be.”

“Ou, woman,” Bobby rubbed his arm, “that’s my kitchen table they’re soiling there, so I get to raise objection if they misuse it, don’t I?”

Dean chuckled deeply and pressed one last noisy kiss to Cas’ lips before he pulled off and let Cas step away from Bobby’s precious, meaning old and wobbly, kitchen table.

“Sorry,” he said.

“No, you’re not,” Cas rasped hoarsely and smiled at him.

“Can you damned idjits now get on with it already? It’s not as if the world’s endin’, when you can’t grope each other for three days.”

“Yeah, guess not,” Dean agreed and got Death’s ring with the white mother-of-pearl inlet out of his pocket.

“Well here goes everything. See you on the other side,” he looked at Cas and slipped the ring onto his finger.


	21. Chapter 21

A second later, he and Cas were somewhere completely different, on a crowded street in an unknown city.

Dean turned around aimlessly, while Cas tilted his head, his expression razor-sharp.

“Dean, I have a list. In my head. Let’s go,” he wanted to lay two fingers to Dean’s forehead in the old familiar gesture but Dean flinched away. He wanted to touch Cas’ arm to get him away but then he flinched again.

“Son of a bitch, this is gonna be harder than I thought,” he said and took a step back from Cas, until they had both found their senses again and realised how dangerously close to not only aborting the mission, but to actually killing themselves they were.

“Let’s just, get to the place we need to go. Can you, uh… wire me the information?”

“Of course,” Cas rasped and then Dean felt the info about where to find the first person they were to reap form in his mind.

“Gotcha. Let’s do this,” he said and together they disappeared in a flash.

 

The first person on their list was a rich old lady, who was surrounded by her family.

Dean walked up to the bed and touched her with his hand on which the ring sat.

“Is this it?” the spirit of the woman appeared next to them. “Is this the end now?”

“Yes,” Cas told her quietly.

“Suppose that’s alright, my life was long enough. But I never thought that I was gonna be brought away by someone who looks like a farmer,” she looked at Cas, who looked quite at home in Dean‘s shirts and jeans.

“Oi, show a little respect. He’s special, and he’s the one that’s bringing you into your next life.”

The old lady only looked at Dean shrewdly and then turned to Cas again: “I’m ready, gay farmer.”

Dean actually chuckled at that, when Cas escorted the old woman away in another flash of blue light.

 

They worked on after that, reaping everyone that Cas had on his mental list. Mostly they were fine doing their job. Some people’s time was just up, others were sick or hurt, but then there were cases were both of them were struggling.

Dean looked down at a convict who had murdered several people and now lay choking in his cell.

“Dean, stop being cruel, we are not supposed to let them suffer for their failures, we need only escort them over.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Dean shrugged and finally relieved the guy.

“What? What’s happening?” the terrified spirit of the man appeared and stared down at his body.

“You’re dead, pal. Time to go on,” he said when Cas had vetoed Dean’s initial thought of “and you damn well deserve it”.

Once Cas had brought the man over into, what Dean banefully hoped was the deepest circle of hell, he came back and frowned at him.

“I know right now you can decide who lives and who dies, Dean. But you really shouldn’t judge. We was a monster in life, but it is our job to help those souls over, not to say who deserves what.”

“You know, Cas? You really gotta read that book now, or watch the movies,” because Cas sounded so much like another character from the movie now.

“Can we do all that when this is over?” Cas frowned, their next appointment calling.

“Yes,” Dean smiled and they once again had to remind themselves not to touch each other.

 

On their last day as Death and Reaper, they both reached the end of things they could possibly take when they were working in a hospital, cleaning up after a person running amok.

“Cas, I hate this dude. He’s messing everything up. That woman there, he shot her in the face, goddamn. She wasn’t supposed to die like this.”

“I know, Dean.”

“Let’s just reap him now and save all those lives.”

“We can’t. It’s not the natural order. I have a list and we need to follow it, or the consequences would be catastrophic.”

“More catastrophic than this?” Dean said as they knelt down next to a man near an elevator who was being hugged by one of his colleagues as he exhaled his last breath.

The man appeared next to them, looking down at his body and said: “I don’t understand why he did that.”

“We don’t either,” Dean calmed him. 

“Let’s go, your friend is already awaiting you on the other side.”

The man looked up at Cas, his brow furrowed: “A young intern with short hair?”

Cas nodded.

“Shit,” the man heaved in a couple of breaths and then made his decision. “Let’s go, then I can at least keep her company.”

“I’m sure you’ll end up in the same place, buddy.” Dean told him and then Cas brought him over.

“So any more after this one?” Dean remarked snarkily, even though he knew that Cas was right about the natural order thing. He had explained it to him, that every decision created different timelines and that people would die who’s time wasn’t up yet.

“Yes, the gunman.”

“Finally,” Dean sighed and then they were face to face with the one who had caused all the bloodshed as he shot his last bullet into his own brain.

Dean touched him and couldn’t help but punch his spirit in the face.

“You goddamn son of a bitch,” he yelled. “What was the point of all this crap, why did you wreck everything so that other people have to clean up after you? You ended lives today, lives that shouldn’t have ended!”

“And what about my life?” The man asked him. “My wife died in this hospital!”

“Boohoo,” Cas said, his eyes squinted so hard that he would have a headache soon if he didn’t stop it.

“What he said,” Dean groused and took a step closer to the man. “You know, usually we don’t tell people where they’re going, but I will make an exception for you. You think your pain ends here? Well, think again!” he got loud. “Where you’re going, your pain will be worse than everything you could ever imagine. Trust me when I say this, because I know what I’m talking about. I was there.”

“I don’t understand, where were you? Is there such a thing as hell in the end?” the man had panic in his eyes.

“Yes, there is. And it’s not a metaphor, it’s literal,” Cas said. 

“So, now you have only two choices. Either you’re going in there right now, or you’ll stay here as a spirit.”

The man’s eyes lit up at that, but Dean took another step and continued speaking.

“But then there will be people killing you again. They’re gonna burn you alive only to send you into hell for good. You see, personally, I would like to see you roasted two times, but it’s your choice. Hell now or later, what’s it gonna be?”

The gunman gulped. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know this was what was gonna happen.”

“Oh you think you wouldn’t have killed all those people if you would have known there were consequences? You aren’t even sorry that you killed them. You’re only sorry for yourself!” Dean startled the man by growing loud again.

“Oh god!” The man cried. “I deserve this. I deserve to rot in hell.”

Dean wanted to shout ’yes!’ but the sight of the man falling to his knees and showing remorse made him only say: “We do not make the rules. But all your actions always have consequences.”

Cas touched the man by the shoulder, who nodded and let himself be dragged off into damnation.

Then Cas appeared again, asking him: “Does he really?”

“What?”

“Deserve hell?”

“I can’t say. I don’t think I can be the judge of that. I mean, think about it. I did more good in my time than bad, I endured more torture than I handed out and still I got into hell. Because I wanted to help my brother, I screwed with the natural order.”

“And based on what you know now, would you still have sold your soul for your brother?”

“Yes. In a flash. Even though all these sons of bitches actually screwed with us too, and know I know that wherever Sammy was, they would have dragged him back out of it for their plans to work out. They would have brought Sammy back without me even having to lift a finger.”

“Then why would you still do it?”

“Because of you,” Dean said as if it was obvious. “Maybe it was always my destiny to break the first seal of the apocalypse, or maybe all their schemes just brought me to it. Can’t say which. The only thing I do know? Is that I don’t regret it. Because otherwise, I’d never met you.”

And Dean pulled Cas in, kissing him until with a huge shock, he realised what he had just done when Cas disappeared and he stood there alone.

“Oh, please no,” he said brokenly, his hands clasping over his mouth in agony as he was in the bloody corridor of the hospital in the presence of the corpse of a murderer, completely and utterly by himself.


	22. Chapter 22

A second later, he was back in Bobby’s kitchen, Cas sitting at the kitchen table and Death holding out his bony hand to receive his ring.

He took it off and ran towards Cas to rip him up into his arms.

“I thought… fuck I thought I’d killed you,” he groped Cas’ body all over to make sure it was all there, before he let himself calm down when his galloping heartbeat slowed because Cas was fine after all.

“Your time was already up, Dean. Your three days were over before you even reaped the last one.”

“So you just decided that I needed to die a thousand deaths when Cas was just gone?”

“No, I didn’t. I just had to get him back first to put him back to the state he was in before our little bet.”

Dean looked at Cas, who only smiled and stroked over the side of his face: “I’m fine, Dean.”

Dean’s hands shook where he balled them into Cas’ t-shirt as it dawned on him that he hadn’t lost him and it was indeed still all fine. He wasn’t used to good outcomes, apparently.

“You humans,” Death said, including Cas into this species already. “You know, only now I understood that there is a void of powerful beings in Lucifer‘s apocalypse plan. War, Famine and Pestilence only bring destruction and I always have to clean up after them. Messy they are,” Death shook his head. 

“But I am surprised he never harnessed the power of Love.”

“Wait, there is a fifth one of you guys?”

“Yes. Like I am head of the angels of death, he is head of the angels of love, or cupids as you call them. Perhaps I should have a little conversation with my brother again. His power, which manifests in you two so much, quite surprised me.”

“So, you’re not mad that we surprised you again?” Dean asked.

“No, I’m not. I had expected you to belly ache and wreck the order I try to uphold, and I had never expected Castiel to choose you over being an angel. I had thought he would try all he could to bring the structure of heaven down to make it better in the end, even against his own safety.”

Death got up and said with finality: “Now that privilege belongs to me. I will bring your brothers back from hell, and I will actively guide the new management structure of heaven by weeding out the bad seed so they don’t pull a stunt like this again. As I said, it’s messy. And I hate cleaning up messes.”

“Yeah, can’t argue with you there,” Dean agreed and by Death’s raised eyebrows he could see that he was again surprised at finding understanding for his troubles, in Dean, where he had least expected it.

A second later though, he disappeared just when Bobby came in from wherever he had been.

“You’re back?”

“Yes, and Sam‘s just coming too. Death is getting him.”

“Past tense, Dean. I have got him,” they heard a voice in the library as Death let Sam fall onto the thankfully still standing single bed there. He wore the same clothes with which he had fallen into the pit, they were only tattered a little. Dean walked over to look and saw that he slept deeply and exhaustedly.

“What happened to him?”

“Lucifer,” was the answer.

“He didn’t torture him, did he?”

“Relax, Dean. He didn’t do anything your brother didn’t want.”

“Really?” Dean asked with a pained voice and hid his face in his palm. Things he didn’t need to know about his brother.

“Where is Adam?” asked Cas to Dean’s side now.

“Ah, yes. The boy decided that it was time to go on, which I encouraged. He was only brought back by meddlesome angels anyway. He said, when the time comes, you should drop by and have a beer with him.”

“I bet you had some cheap brand you could recommend to him, didn’t you?” Dean actually smirked.

“As a matter of fact, I had,” Death’s expression melted into almost a smile and then he looked lifeless again.

“If you’ll excuse me now, I need to pay a visit to heaven.”

And then Death was gone and they knew they wouldn’t see him again until it was their own time to cross over. 

 

“How many do you think he’ll reap?” Dean asked when they were still waiting for Sam to wake up from his slumber, while Bobby was out working at cars because he couldn‘t just wait around with nothing to do.

“I do not know,” Cas said a little ruefully when he thought about how many of his brothers and sisters had strayed from their path and that he couldn’t even try to help them anymore.

“Hey, babe,” Dean said and pulled Cas close again. “Don’t do this. You said it yourself. There is a job to be done and they need to get back to it.”

“No,” Cas shook his head, so close to Dean that the strands of his hair tickled his forehead. “It’s not about that. I feel shame about all they did. Maybe if they had guidance…”

“Ah you know your brothers, Cassie, they won‘t respond well to anyone wanting to guide them unless it‘s daddy,” they heard a voice behind them and they both flinched violently when they saw Gabriel, believed to be dead archangel, standing in Bobby’s kitchen and unwrapping a lollipop. 

“But as far as I‘ve heard, Death only needed to give a few examples of what happens to angels who forget their mission and everyone ran back to their posts like good little soldiers.” 

“Gabriel?” Dean and Cas said at the same time.

“Awww, how cute,” Gabriel smirked at their synchronous greeting.

“Ok, how are you alive?” Dean asked, taking in his information about what had happened in heaven.

“Do you really think ‘the trickster’ couldn’t trick Lucifer?” Gabriel asked, his eyebrows waggling. “I created a few illusions, made sure everyone thought I was dead and voila, there I was, having my freedom back.”

“We could have done with your help,” Cas frowned at him.

“Hey, I helped. I told those two about the rings, didn’t I?” Gabriel asked incredulously.

“And, by the way, that’s enough beauty sleep,” he woke Sam up with a snap of his fingers.

Sam shot up on the bed, tightly wired like he was hearing an Asia song in his mind and then whipped his head around to see Dean, Cas and Gabriel standing over the side of his bed and staring at him.

“Hey, Sammy,” Dean said and ripped his brother up into a bonecrushing hug.

“Hello, Sam,” Cas was the next to welcome him back and actually embraced Sam now, his reserve against Dean’s brother having wavered after Sam had sacrificed everything, even his life, to save the world.

“You don’t expect me to embrace you too, huh big boy?” Gabriel said, but then felt himself dragged into a hug by Sam as well.

Afterwards, Sam turned around to Dean: “What did I tell you? I told you to let it be!”

“You know I couldn’t do that, Sammy.”

Sam’s chest heaved alarmingly, so Dean continued: “Hey, don’t look at me. Cas and Bobby helped too.”

“And your friend Missouri and Death,” Cas chimed in.

Sam looked from one to the other, trying to understand.

“So, no demon deals. No black magic, nothing evil?”

“Nope, all squeaky clean.” 

“How long have I been gone?”

“About four days.”

“It felt more like over a year,” Sam groaned and sat down again.

“How’s it been, Sammy? Did you make sweet love with the devil?” Dean teased him.

“I wouldn’t call it sweet,” Sam said, his head still in his hands.

Dean thought he didn’t understand him correctly. His mouth made a silent ‘wow’ movement as he shook his head. He looked at Cas, then pointed at Sam, asking through their bond: “Did he really just say…”

Cas nodded to tell him that he had understood it just the same way, while Gabriel visibly frowned at everyone.

“My brother knows how to woo people, alright.”

“Ok, then,” Dean said, not wanting to continue the topic. “That leaves us with only one thing on the to do list.”

“And what would that be?” Gabriel asked.

“Bobby’s soul. And I figure since you’ve been M.I.A. for a while you owe us a favour.”

“No, I don’t,” Gabriel shook his head at Dean. 

“Relax, you don’t even need to do anything, just stand there all big and powerful to scare Crowley into handing out his soul like he said he would. But, because I don’t trust the guy, I’d appreciate the leverage and you could be useful for that.”


	23. Chapter 23

They went to surprise Bobby who let a wrench fall onto his foot when he saw Sam up and running again.

“Good to see, son,” he hugged him with tears in his eyes which eventually spilled when they told him about their scare tactic to get his soul back.

 

They were all assembled in the library when Crowley answered their summoning.

“Hello, boys,” he greeted and added: “Hello, darling,” when his gaze fell on Bobby.

“Let me guess. This nice little congregation came together because you want me to hand over your soul?”

“No, we just want you to stand there and look pretty,” Bobby sassed.

“Now you’re just flirting,” Crowley rumbled low in his chest.

“Can you stop it? I feel dirty,” Dean sighed exasperatedly.

“That coming from the guy who frolics around with an angel, or rather ex-angel?” Crowley smirked and looked at Cas standing next to Dean and looking thoroughly unangelic in his jeans and shirt look. Then Crowley’s gaze met Sam.

“Moose,” he greeted. “I see your visit to my domain was cut short. Tell me, did the devil put the S.A.M. into S&M?”

“Gross, Crowley,” Dean started again but then Crowley’s eyes fell on Gabriel.

“What’s this, another wing man?”

“Just some insurance to make sure you hand over the goods,” Bobby smiled.

“Really, Bobby? I thought we had a thing. Is it too much to ask to get a little trust from you?”

“Yes!” Dean groused. “Now stop talking and give him his soul back unless you want Gabe here to fry your ass extra crispy.”

“God, no. That’d be a waste,” and then he angrily added: “Alright!” and raised his hand to snap his fingers.

“You can leave in the part about my legs,” Bobby told him.

“Yes, that was what I intended. Wouldn’t want you all immobile,” and then he finally snapped his fingers.

“Contract’s dissolved. Pleasure doing business with you boys. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a little hell to raise. I’ll call,” he added, looking at Bobby before he vanished.

 

“Is it just me or are there no more rules anymore?” Dean asked when the day was finally over and he was just entering Bobby’s den to be alone with Cas.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, Sammy and whatever he did with Lucifer, Bobby and Crowley?” he paused, “You and me?”

“You compare them to us?” Cas frowned.

“No not really. We’re different.”

“Good different?”

“Very good,” Dean pulled him close once more. “Can you actually believe we got out of all of that in one piece?”

“Maybe I can if you kiss me?” Cas smiled.

“Easiest trick in the book,” Dean said and happily did just that for a while, his hands roaming Cas’ body until they stilled on his hips.

“So what’s next for us?”

“Do you really have to ask?” Cas moaned, obviously suggestive.

“No I mean in the long haul. You’re human, or almost. What would you like to do?”

“Can I decide that later? Preferably together with you?”

“Yeah, sure,” Dean complied and pressed against Cas again, but couldn’t quite stop his thoughts.

“Dean, I’m kissing here, stop thinking,” Cas rasped.

“Yeah, that’s another thing. How much mojo have you left? Will it just gradually go away and I’ll stop hearing you in 50 years or so?”

“I do believe you will stop hearing me when I use the last of my powers.”

“And for what will you use them?”

“I do not know yet, but we will decide that as well.”

“So, we don’t actually know what’s gonna happen next, do we?”

“I am informed that that is what makes someone human. There is only one thing that I know for certain, Dean.”

“What’s that?”

“I will always hold you tight,” Cas said and kissed him again, dragging him down with him until he came to rest on top of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No doubt, endings are hard. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. There's always gonna be holes [...] - The book of Chuck, also known as The Winchester Gospel.
> 
> Also known as, the apocalypse has ended, so this is a fitting ending for this story, too. Everything that follows could not be called canon anymore because it would get downright ridiculously fluffy and domestic with an occasional monster hunt. And maybe an unexpexted use of Cas' last mojo. I'll leave that to the imagination. ;)


End file.
